Kael Is The Loneliest Number

“Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?” - Skeletor

☠️☠️☠️☠️ …Arthur Ashe Stadium, New York City, New York… …Shortly after ReVival 89…

“The Bahamas. So strange that I could not find him, almost as if he was being hidden from me.”

Snark’s tone is accusatory as he speaks in his strange hypocrisy; his voice both soothing and unnerving. His dark eyes settle on the sickly shape of Mina Starr-Kael as he continues. “Still, Sutler has returned. Your task is done, it’s time for us to return to the place Between.”

Mina begins to laugh but it terminates in a wet, sickly cough. It spits a black glob of blood and phlegm onto the ground as she turns her burning red eye at Snark. She’s lean, her gaunt face looking almost skeletal, paper thin flesh pulled tight.

“... You can… try…” Mina hisses, crimson bile dripping from her cracked lips. Despite her weakened appearance, this thing’s malice has lost none of its potency.

Darkly’s hands move in perplexing ways before revealing his book, a faint green light emanating like radiation from it. His skin ripples as something beneath the surface wriggles about, drawn toward the ancient book he holds.

“I was here long before you were just a bit of potential adrift in the here-between. You’re a misbehaving child. Still a baby, throwing a temper tantrum because you’re afraid to leave your crib. It’s time to grow up, it’s time to return to where you belong.”

The “man” that is Snark Darkly is still there, but something much more enormous fills the space around him, a shifting, broiling shape that manipulates the body of Darkly like you would a doll. His voice spills from this shape, the physical manifestation slumping to the side as his true form confronts Mina. His book hangs in the air like a pulsing green heart at the center of swirling madness.

“I was one of the first and greatest cruelties. I was born in the darkness just before the light. I was here when the first specks of life came to crawl from primordial muck. I am the greatest servant of the Hypocrisy. I am just a Truth… I am THE Truth. The awful, ugly, unsympathetic Truth. And you are nothing to m-”

A bolt of crackling red lightning arcs out from Mina’s baleful eye. It cuts through Darkly’s shape, striking his book. On contact the lightning imprisons the book, the red and green light clashing.

“... wait, no.”

It’s all Snark can muster before the lightning turns black. The sound of time and space breaking fills the space around Darkly, his meat puppet clamouring up to his feet jerkily. Mina collapses as the room fills with an ominous green light, a great, howling wind filling the room.

And then silence.

The door to the locker room slams open as Max, the Bolognese Bull and four black armored Elite Guards storm in.

“Where the fuck is Darkly? I might have made a big mistake.” Max demands, hands on his hips. His green eyes scan the room before falling on Mina’s crumpled form. “... Why the fuck are you on the floor?”

Mina stirs, using the wall for support as she draws herself up, a twisted smile on it’s face. “... He’s gone. Heh-heh…”

☠️☠️☠️☠️ …Mount Sinai Hospital, Chicago, Illinois… …The Birth of Sarah Gildon…

She feels air touch her skin, her introduction to the world. She cries out, the first sound she’s ever made pouring from her toothless mouth. She opens her hazel eyes, seeing the world for the first time.

“Congratulations, it’s a healthy baby girl.” the Doctor proclaims, wrapping her a warm blanket before holding her out to Mother and Father.

The Father tears up, overwhelmed by the love he feels for this wriggling, crying baby.

The Mother, face covered in sweat, looks relieved, proud and profoundly tired.

“... Sarah.” the mother whispers. “Sarah Constance Gildon.”

The Father nods, taking her from the doctor, bringing her closer to the Mother. The two look down at her with proud, loving eyes.

“Welcome to the world Sarah.” ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …The Mayor’s Office, Arkham, Massachusetts… …A few days after ReVival 89…

It had been a rough month for the Mayor of Arkham.

He was on a two match losing streak.

His manager, Snark Darkly, was missing.

Sutler Reynolds-Kael, his adopted son, had returned but wasn’t speaking to him.

A small, but loud, section of his constituency were standing outside the Mayor’s office, demanding he hear their complaints.

Oh.

And he’d agreed to fight Nate Colton in a Dog Collar Match.

So he sits, slumped over his desk like a corpse, pathetically moaning occasionally.

“... what’s the matter, darling.”

A malignancy pours from the shadows clinging to the corners of his office. Her voice wraps Max’s mind up in a familiar, comfortable sorrow. Max grunts but doesn’t move, still drooping across his desk like a Salvador Dali painting.

“Sweet despair clings to you like slime to a slug, Max.” She hisses as It fully manifests from the dark umbra. Her once graceful steps were now staggered, knees buckling. The flesh that clings to It’s bones is waxen and paper thin, black veins crackling through her flesh like lightning.

Turning his head slowly, Max’s weird green eyes lock onto Mina. He’d tell her to leave, tell It to fuck off.

But he was tired.

He was so tired.

And alone.

“I’m so…” the words dribble from his lips, joining the pool of drool he’s leaked out on his desk. His voice cracks, his arrogance, cruelty and whimsy stripped from his words like flesh from bone. All that remains is despair. “... so alone.”

Using the desk for support, Mina crawls her way to Max, lips parting to reveal she’d lost several teeth since last he had seen her smile. What remained were blacked, jagged knives jutting from bloodied, puss weeping gums.

“Of course you are. Of course you are. You’re not meant for this place, you’re not supposed to be here. No-one here will ever love you. You will forever be on the outside, always distrusted… hated.”

Mina purrs the words, each delivered like an oppressive blanket.

“Your brother, Michael. Lee. Sektor. The Green Vale Gang. The Red Army.” It takes great pleasure in counting down the names of those who had abandoned Max. “... Sutler. Snark Darkly. Cecilworth Farthington.”

His eyes flash for a moment when she mentions Cecilworth. A growl crawls its way free from his throat as he pushes himself off his desk.

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth.”

The emptiness where empathy, kindness or compassion should be quickly fills with rage, spite and viciousness. She answers his threat by shuffling forward, standing directly in front of him, matching his energy despite her frail appearance.

“... or what, Max? You’re going to kill me?” It spits, grabbing Max’s hands with surprising strength and dragging them to her neck. “Then do it. Go on! Kill the only person who ever decided to come back to you willingly. Kill the only thing that can tolerate you, the only person in this entire universe, this delightfully cruel reality. Me. Us. We.”

Kael’s green eyes flash as his hate-addled mind runs through the fantasy of breaking her neck. Of tightening his grip until he wrings the life out of it. Or perhaps to bash her head into the wall until her skull shatters and its brains leak out all over the floor. Dream as he might, his hands refuse to enact his violent urge because deep down he knows.

He knows she’s right.

And it knows he knows.

Slumping back down into his chair, Max sighs.

“Don’t I deserve love?”

A cruel, gurgling laugh boils between her rotten teeth. A clawlike hand reaches out, running through Max’s hair gently.

“...No.” ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …Hubbard High School, Chicago, Illinois… …Sarah Gildon has a Plan…

Sarah had been waiting for this day for four years.

Graduation.

An honor roll student, Sarah had already been accepted to veterinary school.

She had planned out her whole life, with the blessing of her Mother and Father.

And now she was waiting to receive her diploma.

Waiting to start her real life.

She loves her parents dearly, but she couldn’t wait to live outside of her family home for the first time in her life.

Autonomy.

Independence.

Freedom.

She had been waiting for this day for four years.

Sarah Gildon has a plan. ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …The Kael Estate, Arkham, Massachusetts… …A few days before UltraViolence…

It had been almost two weeks.

Two weeks after Sutler had returned at Rev89 with Jenny Colton. And he had yet to say a word to Max, or even make an appearance at the Kael Estate.

Two weeks since anyone had seen Snark Darkly. He had received a call from Baron Taterton letting him know Snark had missed their bowling league.

Now Max was left mopping through the halls of the Kael Estate, dragging his feet in his sad, lonely march. For the first time in a very long time, he felt nothing.

Nothing, save for the crashing waves of self pity and sorrow.

He should have been preparing for Nate Colton and the Dog Collar Match.

He should have been making plans for a spectacular entrance for UltraViolence.

He should have taken a shower four days ago, but personal hygiene had dropped off Max’s itinerary as of recently.

Lost in the miasma of his own depressed thoughts, Max wandered into a section of the Kael Estate he didn’t remember. A long abandoned wing that he had somehow managed to avoid since returning to life three years ago.

Wilhelm Kael’s wing. His father’s forgotten portion of the Estate. Darker and more oppressive than the rest of the house, it was sparsely decorated save for the occasional portrait of a long dead ancestor of the Kael’s.

And then he saw it.

A towering statue of his late father, carved from black onyx; a glowering guardian whose ebony eyes glittered as though they were alive. Max stares up at it, half afraid to move out of fear that the statue might come alive and throttle him.

“Still afraid?”

Mina’s voice croaks from behind Max. Part of Kael wants to turn around and argue but the majority refuses to turn his back to the statue.

“Maybe. He’s a scary guy.” he finally manages to squeak out.

“He’s dead.”

“Yeah, well, so was I.”

“... heh-heh.”

Leaning against the wall, Mina drags herself past Max. It leaves a long, dark smear across the wallpaper, a mixture of blood, sweat and bile. Dark vitae drips from her eyes, nose and mouth while clumps of its dark hair have fallen out. Her skin is bruised and covered in seeping, infected sores.

“Looks like you’ll be dead soon.” Max observes.

“Maybe. That depends on you.”

Mina pushes away from the wall and wobbles awkwardly into the statue of Wilhelm, steadying itself while sucking in wet, ragged breaths. Max’s lip curls upward in disgust as he folds his arms.

“The fuck does that mean?”

A soft laugh falls out of Mina’s mouth, but it’s not sarcastic or cruel. It’s actually quite sad, the kind of laugh someone makes when they can’t cry.

“... We spent so many years trying to escape you thinking that our freedom was out there. Thinking that we would be better off on our own… but as it turns out.”

Turning, Mina vomits a gush of gelatinous crimson waste, splashing across the carpet. It’s almost enough to knock her over, however she manages to catch herself on the statue.

“Turns out we need you. And you need us.”

Max’s eyebrow quirks at Mina, suspicious of its words.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“... Our body is wasting away. Dying. We need to rejoin with you, we need to become you. Only your body can host us without dying. Only you.”

“So fuck all that noise, you ruined my fucking life and got me killed by my brother. Why on God’s green Earth would I EVER allow you back into the circle of trust?!” Max snaps, stepping forward as he jams a hateful finger at Starr-Kael.

“Because without Snark, the next time you die, it’s final. Because without me, you’re just… Max Kael, a pathetic, lonely thug with no manager, no family and no chance of defeating Nate Colton. Because without us, you’ll watch your time as mayor cut short as one of your constituents gets inspired by you and… makes the current mayor disappear.”

The red eye flickers like a red flame as Mina makes her case.

“... because with us together again we can be The Minister once again. Think of the anguish we can reap. Think of the sorrow, of the despair. Who needs to be loved when we can drown the world in misery? Why climb to the level of titans when you can drag them down into the muck? You won’t have to worry about anything. We’ll take care of… everything.”

A tear rolls down Max’s cheek.

He was so… tired.

“Can… can you fix the loneliness?”

He knew she couldn’t fill the void in him. In fact he knew it would only make it worse but he yearned to hear her comforting lies.

“... I promise. Heh-heh…” ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …5 Time Academy, Chicago, Illinois… …The Day Sarah Volunteered…

Sarah’s wife is an avid wrestling fan so when a local wrestling promotion was looking for volunteers in exchange for free tickets, Sarah was quick to act.

The advertisement said they were looking for people to be stand-ins for promo work being done for a future program. What made it even more convenient was that it was going down at a local gym that was just a five minute drive down from where she lived.

Wanting the tickets to be a surprise, Sarah hadn’t told anyone about her plans.

In her mind it would be simple.

Show up. Stand in the background. Get tickets and brag to people about how she was in a televised segment.

“Oh joyful day, such a healthy selection of volunteers!”

The Minister Max Kael saunters toward the group of volunteers wearing an all white suit.

His burning red eye falls on Sarah, a crooked smile stretching across its face.

“... let’s start with you.” ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …The Kael Estate, Arkham, Massachusetts… …How Sarah Got Her Freedom…

“... fine.”

Max takes a step forward with a defeated sigh.

“It can’t get any worse, so fuck it.”

Mina’s face crinkles, her red eye flashing with excitement.

“So what do we d-”

Before he can continue Mina’s shriveled form hurls itself at him. It doesn’t knock Max back, but it does surprise the Mayor of Arkham, causing him to scream and stumble backward.

She latches both her hands on either side of Max’s head as blood begins pouring from the socket around her crimson eye. With a sickening crunch followed by a wet pop, the crimson oculus rips itself from Mina’s skull.

Tiny, silvery tendrils snake out of the eye as it leaps like an oversized flea from its old host to the new one.

“WAH-HAT THE FUCK!” Max screams as he kicks Mina’s diminutive body back toward the black stone statue of his father. She slams into it causing an audible snapping sound.

Another high pitched scream fills the room as the eye gouges out Max’s left green orb, replacing the previous inhabitant with itself. The screams don’t stop as Max collapses to the ground, wriggling and writhing in a whole new world of pain. Bone snaps, meat rips and Kael’s mind is filled with an innumerable wave of horrid, madness inducing thoughts.

Mina’s body slowly slides down the statue, settling at the base. Blood pools around her as the last gasps of breath leave her throat.

With the last of her strength she reaches up and tears away her eye patch.

Sarah Constance Gildon sees the world for the first time in years.

“... freedom.”

The light fades from her hazel eye, the taste of her final word bittersweet on her lips.

From across the room Max crawls forward, blood oozing from his ruined eye socket. Wet, panting whimpers slowly turn to a groaning giggle. Shoving Sarah’s body to the side, Kael pulls himself up to his feet using his father’s statue.

He looks up into his father’s stoney visage, a crooked smile spreading across its face.

From the shadowy depths of his eye socket a burning red orb flickers to life.

“... Heh-heh Heh-Hah -Ḥ̷̪͔̲͓̤͕̫́̆͂̄͗̒a̷̛̙̱̹̒͐̇̾̽́̓̑̄H̶̛͙̹̫̠̤̽͛̇̐̀̽͋̽̅͠ͅ-̵̡̨͈̠̱̘͕͕̖͚̤͇̈́̋̍̉̇͆̑͌̈́̃͆̑́̕̕͜͜͝H̸̢͙̲̩̭͈͎̙̤̿̀͑͜Ą̸̡͉̳̠͕̱̯͇̃̂̐̓͛̈̄͂͂͘̕͝ͅḨ̶̡̨̧̛̱̱̥͕̼̺̳͉̩̆͜ͅ!” ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Who are you, Nate Cooolton…? What are you compared to Us. Another lost child whose rage and anger got him into trouble. Another… Hero. Still grappling with things like morality.  Struggling with binary concepts like..   Right and wrong.  Good and bad. Order and… chaos.  But We are more than just a binary set of ideas.  You signed up to face Maximillian Wilhelm Kael. You signed up for a Dog Collar Match with a mere man. Killable. Beatable. Vulnerable.  Instead you will find Us waiting for you. Nate Coooolton. No family to help you. No friends to bail you out.  Just you. Max. …and the Minister. Prepared to get dog walked...   With the Cruelest Stroke.   ☠️☠️☠️☠️ …A Doomed Timeline… …Several Months Ago…

“... wait, no.”

Snark’s plea precedes a loud popping noise, the almost human Darkly clattering to the cold, hard floor like a skinbag filled with too many bones, and not enough organs.

The world spins and distorts, tendrils of black lightning surrounding him as he lays, sprawled out on the floor. Mina’s attack, or spell, or whatever it did slowly fades, the dark crackling energy dissipating.

Climbing up to his feet, Snark dusts off his Mr. Roger’s inspired clothing and checks his surroundings.

A hospital room.

It’s then that he hears it.

Weeping. Soul wrenching, mournful crying.

He locates the source.

Fanya Dimitrovich Stanislav mourning over the corpse of her son Ivan Stanislav.

“Oh.” Snark remarks as he starts to put two and two together. “... she’s sent me to a dying timeline. Clever. Smart even. It all makes sense now.”

He reaches out, letting his hand rest on Fanya's shoulder. She immediately recoils, his inhumane nature snapping her out of her misery.

“[Who are you!? Stay away from my son!]”

Even dying, emotionally shattered over the corpse of her last child, Fanya was a fierce mother. Snark offers her what he hopes is a comforting smile.

“My name is Snark Darkly and I come with glad tidings! I can help you get revenge on the man who did this to your son. I can give you the power to track him down and destroy him.” he begins, his hands twisting through the air as his book manifests once again from nothingness. “... and all you need to do is read from this book.”

He extends the book out to her. She takes it without question; her hatred, sorrow and pain overriding reason.

“It’s time to open your mind to the Truth.” Snark begins, flashing a smile that contains far too many teeth.

“My… Baba Yaga.”