The Mountain and the Ant Hill

On Different Pages

“I told you I had a plan.”

“...Looks like you weren’t the only one.”

The match was set for Ultra Violence; eGG Bandits versus The Green Vale Gang, Brass Knuckles on a Pole. The stipulation, concocted by Tony, was designed as a counter to Ned Reform’s announcement earlier in the show regarding the Bandits facing his stallion mentees at the upcoming pay-per-view. The trio had been incessantly hounding them for weeks, interfering in their matches and goading them backstage, all because Hessian and Gamble happened to have been in their presence when they laid out their intentions to take over PRIME’s tag team division at ReVival 65, belittling everyone including even their interviewer Angelica Brooks.

“I can’t believe they played us like that,” Hessian muttered into the ether as he and Gamble made their way back to the eGG Den from the conference room where Lindsay Troy had been administering Sensitivity Training to the Red Army. “Suckered us right into giving them what they want – us, a pair of Hall-of-Famers – goddamn rookies.”

The giant had made no secret of his disdain towards the fresh talent flooding into PRIME as of late, letting his feelings be known in a promo towards Hugo Vale prior to facing him at ReVival 66. Most of the new faces didn’t have the stomach to endure a career in PRIME, disappearing after only a couple of appearances, never to be seen again. Black Sheep Baez had shown the most potential of any of them and, after facing Hayes Hanlon at Colossus, even he had failed to capitalize on his momentum. It irked Hessian to think that, despite Hugo and Daniel’s persistence in making a name for themselves, The Green Vale Gang might follow suit – and caused the Bandits to have taken a backseat to other tag team title contenders while they contended with the arrogant youngsters.

“For the record, I never wanted anything to do with them,” Hessian continued, talking to Tony’s back. “We almost beat TAL and Scatino for the titles at Colossus, for Hoyt’s sake, why are we dealing with this crap from a coupla fly-by-nights when we should be fighting it out with Vae Victis or the Red Army or the damned Whoresmen for another title shot?”

While the Murder Show grew more irate, ahead of him his partner merely rolled his eyes. Tony couldn't believe, after all these years, his one time foe did not see the big picture. He chose to be blinded by a stature, while well earned, they no longer had the comfort of resting on. Hall of Famers they may be, but what had they accomplished lately? Regardless of whether or not they had fallen into some scheme by Reform and the Gee Vee Gee, this match was inevitable and UltraViolence was the perfect opportunity to settle things with the young upstarts.

“We never even called them out!” Hessian stated contemptuously, shaking his head and throwing his hands up in the air. “We caught them talking smack at Sixty-Five and told them to prove themselves before putting our names in their mouths, stupid kids, did they think we meant against us?? No! They’re supposed to be cutting their teeth against the other newbies! What the hell possessed them to think they could step up to veterans like us? Buzzing around us like they belong anywhere near us, and no matter how many times we swat them away they won’t..leave us..alone! They don’t deserve to stand across from us! I’ve made an ass of myself twice now because of their bullshit and you know what? I still wouldn’t give them the time of day. They’re not in our league!”

With no acknowledgement from his partner still, the giant eyed him up and down grudgingly as they walked. Despite initially commending Gamble for his plan to switch up the match stipulation and make things more difficult for their foes, Hessian couldn’t let go of the fact that the match had never been set in the first place – by Lindsay Troy’s own admission.

The Murder Show clicked his tongue, narrowing his eyes. “Should’ve just let me tell Troy we didn’t want the match. We wouldn’t be in this position if you hadn’t insisted on getting one over on them…”

Hessian’s wide gait suddenly faltered into stuttering steps to prevent stumbling into his partner as Tony stopped dead in his tracks in front of him. The Grin whipped around to face him, shoulders set and eyes stern.

“You keep using the terms we and us,” there was a brief pause as the Permascar Superstar shook his head and allowed an audible sigh to pass between tightly clenched teeth, “but I'm the one that put us in this position. You want to single me out and put that on me…partner.”

“This match-”

“I don't understand why you think this match was something we could avoid,” Tony interrupted the former Universal champion. “I don't understand why you don't realize that right now we're just as green as they are. We've had one match together, so in a way they are cutting their teeth against the other newbies.”

Tony took a moment before he continued, his neck craned back to look up at him.

“The difference between them and us, is that you've become comfortable with where you are and what you think we deserve. Whether that be respect, or a bigger piece of the pie if you will. If you continue believing that they're not on our level, ignoring the threat that they have on our position in the Tag Team division, they're going to be the ones with a title shot before us…because while you're happy with the portion you've been served…they're salivating at the chance to steal it off your plate while you're watching.”

A beat.

“But they're not stealing a damn thing off my plate, because I'm just as hungry as they are…and I want this fight just as much as they do. So I suggest you get over this sense of entitlement you've grown accustomed to, or we're going to end up in the same position we found ourselves at the end of our title match…empty handed.”

To call the giant glum would be an understatement, and Tony remained steadfast in the face of the behemoth as his face reddened and all his bluster visibly melted away from the humbling. The Grin had gotten the better of him in the ring in all their previous encounters with one another, and Hessian could sense that same domineering presence in the way Tony carried himself now. Deflated, he bowed his head, feeling four feet shorter all of a sudden. He finally broke the uncomfortable silence as Tony spun on his heels and started to walk away.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered sorrowfully, “I just…I really want this to succeed – you and me.”

Tony stopped, his shoulders rising and falling again as he took in a long breath and turned back around.

“I’m not the same man I used to be,” the giant admitted bashfully, “and the more time passes the more I realize it. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself…”

Two Books folded his arms, his stiff upper lip unwavering.

“...maybe it’s just old age. You’re right; I’m just making excuses for myself. Being a part of the group, being around Cancer, it’s the only thing keeping me going. If you guys hadn’t brought me on board last year I don’t know if I’d even still be here-”

Tony’s arms dropped suddenly, his eyes lighting up. Without warning he barged past Hessian, heading back in the direction they’d come from.

“-hey, where’re you going?” the Murder Show asked, his tone flat.

“I’m not listening to this,” Tony called back defiantly. “Come with me, I’ve got another idea.”

The giant’s chest burned with humility at the word “idea” as he found himself following his partner, as though being dragged by an invisible leash. =-=-=-=-=

The Yellow Pages

“UltraViolence.”

It's true, the word spoken just now came from the lips of the Grinemigo himself; Tony Gamble, but the focus of the camera is on the true star of this show.

The Stool has returned ladies and gentlemen!!!OMG111LMAOOOO!!!<

“I wish I could say that this was all a part of my plan, that you had little to do with it, but that would be a lie.”

Hessian is in the room as well, arms folded across his barrel chest as his nostrils flare with each breath.

“As much as I wanted to get you guys in the ring to settle this, if it wasn't for your little ploy none of this would've been possible.”

“This is a waste of our time.”

No, that wasn't The Stool, though it would not be a surprise if that were how it felt. Anything not focused on the star of the show is a waste of time.

“My partner and I agree on this, this has been a complete waste of our time. We took the Wise Guys to their limit and came up just short of winning the PRIME tag team titles, and management has rewarded us with nothing but singles matches since then.”

As the side show continues, you can tell that there is a nice sheen glistening off of the face of our one and only true star.

“We should not have had singles matches that amounted to pretty much nothing, because this is the match that should have happened a long time ago. Instead of splitting us up and dragging this out, we should have faced each other at 67 and been done with the two of you, but here we are. So again, thank you for getting the ball rolling with your little trick. My partner still believes that you haven't done enough to be facing us, that I made a mistake in giving you a match he feels you don't deserve. I get it though, why you set your sights on two hall of famers instead of an established team like FYTT. You think you can take advantage of the fact that we are two individuals that worked well together in a match as a team without actually being one for long, but I need you to understand that while we may not be a veteran tag team…we are far from rookies at this game we're playing. We are far more experienced at being able to – what the hell!”

The sound of clattering wood draws Gamble’s attention all of a sudden as the stool tumbles across the shot and skids to a halt, the grain now marred with scuffs and cracks. The Murder Show paces back into view, in front of his partner, and the last thing we see before Tony is blocked out is a look of derision directed towards his fellow Bandit.

“My partner might’ve dug us into a hole when he got Lindsay Troy to sign off on a match that was never official in the first place, but the way I see it, all you’ve done is dug your own grave at Ultra Violence.”

The Murder Show draws a finger back and forth across his torso, presumably including Two Books in the equation.

“You want to make a name for yourselves at our expense? You think playing silly little mind games and swindling us out of victories makes you somebody?”

He jabs his finger towards the camera as Tony emerges from behind him.

“You should be more careful with what you wish for, boys, because you’re about to get a lot more than you bargained for. We’ll make you famous alright, but you’re not gonna like what becomes of your reputation once that bell rings and we get our hands on you.”

The Grin takes a step forward and grimaces at the camera.

“You two are about to find yourselves in a world of h-urrk!”

Gamble is cut off suddenly as Hessian plants a large paw over his chest and pushes him backwards. Appalled by the slight, Tony regards his fellow Bandit with a snarl as the giant takes a step towards the camera and continues as though he’s the only one in the room.

“You made the biggest mistake of your lives when you jumped the queue and picked a fight with us. You should’ve stayed in the shallow end with the other greenhorns, where it’s safe, but you insisted on wading out into deeper waters – ill-prepared – and now you’re going to drown in your own blood.”

As the Murder Show pauses, Gamble decides to assert his dominance by bodying his partner, pressing his kneecap into the back of Hessian’s leg which causes the giant to stumble sideways. With the camera still rolling, Hessian recovers as best he can, knowing that this isn’t the time to show weakness. He turns towards The Grin and closes the distance between them, staring down at his tag partner menacingly. Gamble doesn’t shy away, but rather grits his teeth and shoots an intimidating look back at Hessian. Though the monologue is still directed towards their opponents, the giant’s ire is focused firmly on Tony.

“We’re going to hurt you. We’re going to humble you. Then, once we’ve put you in your place, we’re going to forget you even exist – and set our sights on the tag team titles.”

Hessian turns to face the camera again and, in the process, drives his forearm into Tony’s chest. The Grin holds fast, but the overwhelming force pressing upon him eventually causes him to stagger back a step. Outraged, Gamble snorts and shakes his head. The fury in both men’s eyes is palpable.

“Because at the end of the day…all men must suffer.”

=-=-=-=-= Turning The Page

They bowed their heads and stared at the floor, waiting for the cameraman to shut down his rig. When he gave them the thumbs up, they returned a nod of acknowledgement and took their leave, their shoulders collectively slumping as though a great weight had been lifted.

“How was that?” Hessian asked, rubbing his forearm sheepishly. “You think they’ll buy it?”

“Felt pretty convincing to me,” Tony replied after a long breath, masking the massaging of his chest by smoothing his shirt down with both hands. “But if we’re going to fool them completely, we’re going to have to double down at the pay-per-view.”

The giant gave a hum of uncertainty as he glanced off to the side.

“Hey,” Gamble said, clicking his fingers to draw Hessian’s gaze back to him. “Trust me on this. You put all your faith in Cancer, I get that, but he’s not the only one with good ideas. The Green Vale Gang have been throwing us off our game for weeks, hoping we fumble so that they can take advantage and create an opportunity for themselves.”

“Hmph,” Hessian grumbled, recalling each faux pas that had resulted in him clocking his partner instead of his opponents. “Mission accomplished.”

“No,” Gamble sneered. “Not at all. They think they’ve got us right where they want us. We can use that against them – make them think we’re on the ropes and floundering. We go into UltraViolence with the same energy we did here; bickering and butting heads. We let them think they’ve gotten to us, and when we see an opening? We drop the charade and bring the hammer down on them. They won’t know what hit them. Trust me.”

The giant looked everywhere except Tony’s eyes as he contemplated the situation. The Grin wasn’t wrong in what he’d said about the Murder Show putting all his faith in their captain. Cancer’s influence had bolstered his confidence enough to allow him to power through multiple defeats, as well as contribute to clean-sweep victories for the Bandits at ReVival 61 and 68. With Cancer’s guidance, he’d helped the Greek God of Cool fight through the whole roster to win the Manhunt match at Culture Shock. He’d placed all of his eggs in the captain’s basket and, as a result, just didn’t want to hear what anyone else had to say – even if they made perfect sense as Tony was now.

“Okay…I trust you,” Hessian resigned himself with a sigh. “We do it your way.”

“Good, because I have nothing else on my mind right now except getting us another shot at the titles, and eventually becoming PRIME tag team champions.”

Tony told his partner exactly how he felt, exactly what he planned to do, but he failed to tell him the reason behind it all. Would the why make any difference to the big man? Gamble saw no reason to explain, because he would then need to explain why he planned for this to be his last hurrah…his swan song.

He also knew that telling Hessian about his condition would mean revealing it to the rest of the Bandits as well, and that was a conversation he definitely wasn't ready to have. So he kept his mouth shut, and prepared himself for what was to come…a battle with a couple of young and hungry competitors that wanted to watch the world burn.

If Tony has his way and his plan works out, The Bandits will not be the first spark in lighting that flame.