Kael vs Bear: Film at 11

“I don't know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone.” - Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algenon

☠️☠️☠️☠️

…The Backstage Underground, Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey…

…Revival 87…

“Can you believe these things have been down here the WHOLE TIME?!”

Max’s voice echoes through the strange, winding stone pathways beneath PRIME’s backstage. Strange, furry plantish structures cling to the dark stone walls, spreading like sickly veins throughout this subterraneous domain.

The Bolognese Bull grunts.

“No, I don’t think anyone else knows about it. I only discovered this place a year ago after I installed the first escape tunnel beneath the ONE ACTION NEWS STAGE.” Max explains as he guides the Bull deeper into these vast backstage tunnels.

“Though, I should mention that time is kinda wonky down here. An hour here can be up to a day topside. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for it, but I’m no Time Professor.” the Mayor of Arkham continues before pausing, a realization hitting him.

Fumbling with the golden pocket watch in his waist coat, Kael makes a few quick calculations before whistling.

“We’ve been down here for almost an hour,  yikes!… I’m surprised Snark hasn-”

Bing!

With a raised brow Max tucks his watch away, and retrieves his phone from his pocket.

“Speak of the devil! Oooh looks like I’ve got an opponent for the next ReVival. Perfect, I need to wipe that taste of loss against Hanlon from my mouth. As long as it's not someone like a Stanislav, we're good heh-heh.”

He winks, or perhaps just blinks out of order, at the Bolognese Bull before reading the rest of the message. The smirk on his face drops as his sallow flesh grows even paler.

“Oh.”

There is a lot to be said with just that word. It’s an acknowledgment of his opponent, while also maintaining a certain degree of shock. Finally, even though it's one word, you can tell he ends it with a certain sense of finality, like watching a tornado destroy your home. In this case, an Ivan Stanislav was forecast, a real bear of a problem.

Bing!

Another message joins the previous. Max’s weird, glowing green eyes widen. He reads INTENSE Title match.

“Oh.”

This one is a lot softer. After all, it’s a lot harder to make noise when you’ve already had the air leave your lungs. He almost chokes on it, barely able to squeak it out of his tightening throat.

Bing!

The chime was all too pleasant sounding for the news it brought. Max’s brow knits as he swallows a gulp of dry air.

A Barbed Wire Ropes Match.

With a sigh Max pockets his phone, clearing his throat. He puts a hand on the Bull’s shoulder to steady himself, and very calmly says…

“FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!”

☠️☠️☠️☠️

…The Kael Estate, Arkham, Massachusetts…

…A Few Days After ReVival 87…

“It’s almost been two months since he disappeared off the NEWS, Snark, so where the fuck is Sutler!?”

Max stalks down one of the many corridors of the expansive Kael Estate. The meandering estate always seemed to be changing, and yet Kael always knew exactly how to navigate it.

“Sutler’s never read from the Book, so he’s beyond my vision.” Snark replies as he slides across the floor behind Kael. The way his legs move don’t match the pace he’s setting, and his entire upper body seems frozen, rigid and stiff. “Besides, he’s not really my responsibility.”

“Well whose responsibility is it then? It’s certainly not mine. I’m Mayor of Arkham and a full time Professional Wrestler, I don’t have time to look after my adult children!” snarls the humble public servant, spinning on his heel to point a long, offending finger toward Snark. “But do you know who does? Nate Asshole Handshake Shitbag Colton, and the rest of this misbegotten family. Ever since that Jenny got her hooks into my boy…”

Kael looks at the hand that Nate had shook a little too hard.

Snark cuts him off before he starts his sixteenth rant about the Colton family since ReVival, “I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this. You’ve spent months ignoring Sutler since he showed back up with the other one. The smaller one…?”

Max’s brow tightens as he tries to figure out who Snark is referencing.

“You know, the small one that came with Sutler. I think she’s a girl?”

“Oh!” Max snaps, “I know this one! You’re talking about Chloe, my daughter! Chloe Sektor-Kael, what about her?”

“Is she still around? Did she disappear too?”

“No she’s…”

Max’s eyes widen as he shoots Snark a panicked look.

Breaking out into a full sprint down the hall toward Chloe’s bedroom. Snark follows, barely moving a muscle yet keeping pace. The two reach a colorful door with CSK scrawled out in crayon. It’s a remarkably cheerful and bright door compared to the dark and dour aesthetic of the rest of the Kael Estate. Max swallows hard, closing his eyes in silent prayer to whatever Gods might be listening before he opens the door…

“Knock first!”

Sitting at a small table serving out tea to six large stuffed animals is a scowling twelve year old Chloe Sektor-Kael.

“My apologies!” Max exclaims, slamming the door shut as a look of relief passes over his face. He smirks at Snark, knocking on the door, “See, she’s right where she’s supposed to be.”

Reopening the door he yelps in surprise with Chloe manifesting in the doorway. He looks from her to the table, his brain working overdrive to figure out how she moved so fast.

“Is she here?” Chloe asks, her scowl replaced with an innocent grin.

Max’s train of thought breaks down when he finally registers what his daughter was asking,, “Is she here? Whose she?”

It is fate that answers Max by way of the front door bell chiming ominously through the Estate. Chloe’s cheerful grin breaks out into a toothy smile as she brushes past Max, and starts running toward the front door.

“She’s here!”

Again Max turns to look at Snark who imitates his clients confusion, shaking his head as if to say he also had no idea what she was on about. Finding no answers with Snark, Max turns and chases after Chloe, gangle-fucking his way down the hall.

Stumbling his way into the Estate’s large foyer just as Chloe answers the door. As the figure beyond the threshold comes into view, Max brakes hard. From behind him Snark Darkly materializes, his eyes widening while a smile with far too many teeth spreads like warm butter across his wizened face.

“... you.”

The word drips from Darkly’s lips as though it were syrup on a high stack of pancakes. Max nearly falls over scrambling backward, arms raised defensively.

The thing standing before them took the shape of a small, pale woman in a gothic dress and raven hair. A large leather eyepatch covers her left eye, while one burning red orb glares at Max on the left. Blackened, chapped lips part to reveal sour gums and jagged, rotten teeth.

“Yes, me… M̷̨̖̳͕̱̘̬͓̰̍ͅina S̴͚̄̽̆͐͑tarr-Ḳ̸̢̢̛͎̺͇̪͗̀͌͐̓͜͝ã̶̘̳̫̳̯̽͒e̷̩̱̹͕̎͆̀͐̕͠l̴̡̘͉̘͙̫̆̈̌͒̕ͅ…”

☠️☠️☠️☠️

…The Kael Estate, Arkham, Massachusetts…

…Later That Night…

It was an awkward next few hours, what with the embodiment of Mina Starr-Kael catching up with Chloe. Max spent the time trying to find a good place to hide. Snark kept his glittering eyes glued on their guest.

A quick aside!

For those unfamiliar, Mina Starr-Kael is the current incarnation of The Minister, a parasitic transdimensional being that attached itself to Max’s consciousness when he was a child. Before his death at the end of 2019, at the hands of his adopted brother, Mike Best, the Minister managed to escape Max’s head and into the body of a young woman, reborn as Mina Starr-Kael.

Now, back to our story!

After wishing Chloe a good night, Mina makes short work of locating Max.

Either having forgotten that Mina was in the house, or having simply grown hungry while hiding, Max was in the dining room. Sitting at the head of an ornate table, he shovels handfuls of various MEAT? products into his mouth. If you’re into mukbang ASMR, and no judgment if you are, then this is the scene for you. For everybody else, it’s probably a little uncomfortable.

“Still no table manners?”

Her voice was like the scratching sound mice make as they crawl their way through the walls of your house in winter. Not quite a smoker's voice, but huskier than you’d expect from It’s petite frame.

The hair on the back of Max’s neck stands on end, dropping a quivering blob of MEAT? onto the table with a wet squelch. Gulping down the contents of his mouth, Kael's green eyes dart from side to side trying to locate the source of the acidic voice.

He sees the baleful red eye burning shadows that shouldn’t exist, black stains that defy the light as they spread outward. The eye sways, fluttering in the shadows like a firefly before the rest of Starr-Kael slips from the darkness and into the light.

She’s wasted away to almost nothing, looking closer to a corpse than a living person.

The Minister’s entropic nature chews away at the host’s existence and even Max can feel the decay clinging to it. He remembers when it consumed him all those years ago. This thing was death.

Slow.

Malignant.

Inevitable.

“... last time I saw you, I died a lot… like a lot of times.” Max hisses, cleaning his hands off on the MEAT? splattered bib he’s wearing. “So what the fuck are you doing here? I can’t help you with… whatever you have going on there. Very busy man, I’m the Mayor of Arkham now, and I’m a full time professional wrestler.”

Small strands of droll and MEAT? drip from Max’s lips as he does his best to put on his pissed off cat look. His ears pull back, he flashes his silver teeth and does his utmost to puff up his chest.

Mina laughs a wet, mocking laugh. It slaps poor Max across the face and immediately demoralizes him.

He always hated The Minister’s laugh.

“Oh Max. Sad, stupid Max. I’m not here looking for your help. I’m here because I heard Sutler went missing and, unlike you, I actually have grown fond of the boy.”

He narrows his eyes.

“The fuck you know about Sutler? When the fuck did you ever talk to Sutler? Say… Why the fuck does Chloe know you?!”

There is something strange in Max’s voice, something unfamiliar. Something that sounds like genuine… genuine concern. Not possessive, not selfish or mocking. Fearful.

“You were dead a long-long time, Maximillian. Someone had to step in and take care of those children. Someone had to care. Your brother wasn’t going too. Your sister, Elenore, wasn’t going too. So I did. And I will continue to… heh-heh… care for them. Just like I did for you.”

Her lips part into a grotesque smile as It slides into a seat at the table. Whatever bravado Max has tried to muster sinks into his knees, and he’s immediately glad he’s sitting down. Nothing that Mina has said would sound irregular for a caring guardian to say.

If it wasn’t The Minister saying them.

If it wasn’t how the words were carved into a threat as they were pushed through those jagged, blackened teeth.

“Ah, excellent, you’re both here!”

Snark Darkly’s disjointed form enters the room just before he seems to pop into reality on the other side of the table from Mina.

“Snark! Excellent timing!” Max exclaims, snapping up out of his chair, eager to move away from his unwanted guest. “Mina here is gonna, she’s gonna help find Sutler! So you can take that off your plate now, isn’t that great?”

Nodding his head enthusiastically, Max slithers behind his business manager, putting him between himself and Starr-Kael.

“Oh? Is that so?” Darkly snorts, his eyes locking onto It’s hateful, burning eye.

“Yes, of course I’ll find the boy. It’s what I live for.” she purrs in a most wretched manner.

“Great, then it’s settled! Now we need to address this INTENSE/Ivan/Barbed Wire Rope situation!” the Lord of Kaelsalvania barks while starting to pace up and down the long dining room. He’s careful never to quite pass the edge of the table, keeping a physical barrier between himself and the walking PTSD nightmare seated a few feet away from him.

“You tied with him last time. Referee stoppage, if I remember right?” Darkly asks rhetorically.

Nodding his head, a sneer wipes itself across his face, disgust filtering in.

“He did, but we learned something important about Ivan that day. He’s not invincible, and we can hurt him. Fighting him to a referee stoppage wasn’t any failing on our part, it was evidence that we could hang with Stanislav. And if we can fight him to a standstill… we can certainly defeat him. A few things have changed since we last encountered each other.”

Both Mina and Snark perk up when Max mentions that things have changed.

“... He’s more alone than he’s ever been. Haven’t you noticed? Everybody is gone. Arina is gone. Alexei hasn’t been seen in weeks, maybe months even! His mother is dead. His brother is dead. His father is dead. He has no children, no more family. While mine has never been…”

He shoots Mina Starr-Kael a dour look.

“... mine has, technically, never been bigger. No-no, ever since I learned about the match I’ve been formulating a plan. I’ve sent my men to Russia to collect an asset. Something that will change the tide of this battle, and ensure that I will be prepared to finally put an end to that Russian juggernaut ONCE… and for all…”

Snark turns in his chair, looking up at Max.

“Oh? What’s this plan?”

Barely able to contain himself, Max lets out a flirtatious giggle. For just a moment he forgets his fear, drunk on his own demented plan.

“... I’m gonna kill a fucking bear with my bare hands…”

☠️☠️☠️☠️

…Local YMCA, Arkham, Massachusetts…

…11:00 PM, A Few Days Before ReVival 88…

The following was recorded in Russian, to ensure Ivan Stanislav understood everything Max had to say. It has been transcribed in English for our non-Russian speaking audience. 

“Ivan Stanislav, you big, giant, Russian bandersnatch! I won’t lie, you’re a fucking magnificent fuckin’ bastard, even at your advance age.”

Max’s voice fills the small locker room at the local YMCA where Max is currently suited up in his wrestling gear. He’s finishing up tying his boots as he looks up into the camera.

“... but here’s the thing, you Communist twat-waffle, the last time we faced each other, even with Alexei Ruslan by your side, you couldn’t get the job done. Sure, I didn’t win either but I didn't have nayone helping me. Things aren’t quite the same as they were back at the start of the year, are they? This time you’re going to be alone. Alone.”

Clucking his tongue, Max finishes tying his boot.

“Tell me Ivan, are you the man you thought you’d be at this point in your life? What has your success cost you? Are you truly proud of what you've become? Abandoned. Alone. Forsaken…”

He sighs wistfully before shaking his head. Sliding his kick pads on, Max continues.

“Your mother? Dead. Father? Dead. Brother? Dead. Ariana has abandoned you. Communism sold itself out decades ago. And Alexei? Where is Alexei Ruslan, Ivan? Nobody can seem to find him… but I don’t need to. I can see it in your eyes, Ivan. If he’s not dead… if he’s not actually gone yet… he will be. Won’t he? Another tombstone to add to the graveyard that is the twilight of your life. You are so deliciously, wonderfully alone, aren’t you? All that sacrifice, all you’ve done… and this is all that's left?”

Snickering to himself, Max begins to swagger out of the locker room, kicking open the door with a loud bang.

“Still, despite it all, you do hold that INTENSE Title. A belt that I once held, a title that I will hold again. For unlike you, the aged, broken thing that you are, Ivan, I am renewed. I am YOUNG! I am vibrant. The shadow that fall over you aren’t caused by your setting sun, Ivan Stanislav, but by my growing prominence. The Russian Winter is ending, and the Arkham Spring has arrived, my friend, heh-heh.”

The way he says friend burns with the acidity of contempt. Reaching down, Kael picks up a large spool of barbed wire. .

“... as for the stipulation for our match? I’ll have you know I’ve got 5% Barbed Wire DNA running through my veins. Doctors can’t explain it, but the genealogy report will not be denied! Me and Barbed Wire, we’re family.”

Stepping out onto the empty YMCA court, Max begins wrapping his arms in barbed wire, the jagged points digging into his exposed flesh. Blood begins to weep from the wounds as Max winces, but continues his work.

“But you’re not the real goal here, Ivan. You’re a welcome surprise served up by Troy. Little more than an overgrown obstacle. After I put an end to this thing between us, Stanislav, I’m going to destroy Nate Colton, and his entire family. And then, once I’ve done that… I’m going to prove to Cecilworth Farthington that I am worthy of his love…and I’ll do so as INTENSE Champion once again.”

With his arms wrapped in barbed wire, Max begins to giggle uncontrollably, akin to a small child unable to contain the punchline of a joke.

“... and to show you I mean business, I’m gonna fight a fuckin’ bear to the DEATH… heh-heh… heh-HAH!”

A giant Kamchatka Brown Bear crashes through the doors at the far end of the empty YMCA court. It bellows a mighty roar, spittle flying from its gaping maw while flashing large yellow teeth.

Max roars back at the bear, rushing forward wielding the barbed wire spool above his head like a weapon.

The Mayor’s roaring quickly turns to screaming as the bear’s mouth closes over Max’s head. The camera man panics, dropping the camera as the production staff all make for the exits. From the angle the camera drops we can see Max’s legs kicking in the air as blood rains down.

…The screaming ends with a resounding…

CRUNCH

☠️☠️☠️☠️

…Local YMCA, Arkham, Massachusetts…

…A Few Minutes Later…

“He looks dead.”

Mina Starr-Kael jabs the mutilated, bloodied corpse of Max Kael before looking up at Snark Darkly.

“That’s because he is, but he’ll be fine.” Darkly replies, lifting his hand over the butchered body. The flesh peels back from his palm as black, wriggling worms drop down onto the Mayor of Arkham’s corpse. They quickly squirm their way into the open wounds creating a wet, squishy noise.

“... how often does he die?” the red-eyed Mina inquires.

Snark shrugs.

“Not as much as he used to.”

The bones and muscle begin to knit themselves together as the worms disappear into Max’s flesh.

“I am here to take you back.” Snark continues, looking up from Max to glare at Mina. “You’ve been in this world long enough. They sent me to bring you back. I knew, eventually, you’d be drawn back to Max, like a fly to fresh shit. And here you are.”

Mina smirks, raising Its chin toward Darkly in a mocking challenge.

“And here I am.” she croaks through a dangerous sneer. “What are you going to do about it?”

Before Darkly can reply, Max jolts up.

“MY HEAD IS IN ITS FUCKIN' MOUTH!”

Max’s shrill declaration fills the room as panicked, green eyes dart from side to side. Realizing he’s no longer inside the mouth of a bear, Max begins checking his body for missing parts.

What he finds is his shredded gear, and blood soaked skin, but otherwise it seems Snark’s little black worms have healed all the damage he sustained.

“... did I win?”

“Well,” Mina begins, a jovial darkness in her voice, “The bear choked to death on you.”

All three shift their attention to the mountainous cadaver of the bear on the far side of the court. Max sniffles slightly before a crimson smile splits his face.

“VICTORY!”