THE LAST KINGS OF TITAN

On Titan, the largest of Saturn’s moons, deep in the ice mountains of Ashar, live the Asari Masters, monks who pass down their sacred techniques to only the worthiest of warriors. For every one of their trials you pass, you gain a mark of completion upon your skin. For every one of their legends you learn, you gain an ampoule of wisdom upon your soul. Here is one of their tales.

Translated from the Book of Titan: The Collected Fables of the Asari Masters.

In ancient days, there were three kings of Titan. One Beautiful. One Beloved. And one Strong.

After a century of never-ending war, the kings decided to wager control of the moon on a single contest.

 Each would trap the most dangerous beast they could find in the universe. They would throw the three beasts into the Grand Arena to fight to the death. The triumphant beast's king would be crowned the First Emperor of Titan.

The losing kings would be executed.

-o-o-o-

I despise hospitals. They smell of antiseptic and grief. Even the most spotless megacenters on Fomaria can’t shake the stench of it.

I didn’t ask how many stitches it took to sew my face back together after what Ivan did to it. I don’t remember going through the car window. I remember talking with Kenny and then…

Pain…

Blood…

Sirens…

Antiseptic…

Grief.

The cuts on my face burn as they heal. They will leave scars that will reshape my face into something new. Something I hope I recognize.

Who does he think he is? Ivan Stanislav. The first thing you do when you pick me for your team is threaten me? Then you interfere during my match with Kenny?? And even after all that, I still fought by your side at Squad Goals because I am a man of my word! And what did it get me???

Kenny Freeman is also a man of his word. And it turns out better versed in the multiverse than I previously thought.

Except you wouldn’t allow us to work together, Ivan, no, you have too much PRIDE for that. 

Kenny was my last hope of finding a way to my home universe. With Ivan between us, any hope of reuniting with my loved ones is dashed. I will never reunite with my family.

Kenny and I made a wager, and I was so close…so close…

I’ll make Ivan pay. I swear by the mercury tempests that ravage the Ashar tundras that somehow, someway, I will make Ivan feel as helpless as I do now.

I feel tears rising to my eyes, but I blink them away.

No. You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself for being caught off guard. “A Warrior must always be defined by his last battle,” as the Asarian proverb goes.

If that’s the case, then I am a helpless apprentice. Ambushed and conquered with ease. Made dirt under the boot of my enemy. And my face will forever bear my shame. It must not happen again.

“Mr. Neptune?”

I snap back to reality to find a nurse standing at the doorway, a figure behind her. “Mr. Neptune, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just…lost in thought.”

“Well, I have something that’ll cheer you up. You’ve got a visitor.”

A visitor? I search my mind for who could possibly be visiting me. I’m from a parallel universe after all. I don’t have old friends or family here.

Except, perhaps…Could they…

“Come on in, sir.”

The nurse ushers in the figure behind her. An old man hobbles into the room with effort. He sports sunglasses, matched with a polo and dark blue khakis, a retiree’s uniform. He collapses into an uncomfortable-looking chair across from me.

I have no idea who this is.

“Thank you,” the old man says to the nurse. “It’s so good to see my grandson again.”

Grandson?!?!

-o-o-o-

The first king was the most beautiful, who adorned his palace with the finest metals and intricate filigree. Of the three, his kingdom shone the brightest. 

But all the precious jewels and fine silk clothes could not turn back time. The king had grown old. Out of his fighting prime. He knew the end was near for him, but refused to accept the reality of his fate.

He asked the Traveler for a sleek, ravishing creature that would dazzle the crowd while killing its prey.  The Traveler, having seen much of the universe, knew exactly what to catch. The Giant Kaldonian Viper is a twenty-foot-long snake with pearlescent scales that capture light and reflect back colors that don't exist in some universes. A single drop of its venom could kill a legion of men, and those who were bitten died ugly deaths.

In this way, the first beast was chosen. 

-o-o-o-

Now, there may be a chip in my head that blocks my childhood memories, but I know for a fact my grandfather is in another universe.

Which can only mean…

“How are you doing, son? It’s been years.”

Oh my...He is this universe’s Bobby’s grandfather. And thinks I’m this universe’s Bobby…

What do I do with that?

I tried to find this universe’s Bobby Neptune as soon as I figured out this wasn’t my plane. But no luck. I assumed he was off in the galaxy somewhere, hopefully free.

I wonder for a moment. Maybe I should just pretend.

“Grandpa?” I ask.

The old man shakes his head and approaches me. Immediately, I smell metal with a hint of burning, and my heart sinks.

“I've seen many a holo-disguise in my time,” I say. “That’s a good one.”

And with a flick of a switch on the man’s watch, the facade of the old man fell away in a cascade of digital water droplets that faded to nothing. Where once stood a kindly old man was now a hooded figure wearing the flowing grey robes of an Asari Master.

-o-o-o-

The Second King was beloved by his people for his wit and verve. He was always quick with a joke or a song, and his kingdom’s culture flourished as a result. But the king, always the joker, wondered if he had more than just charm in him. The insecurity gnawed at him as his kingdom grew rich in gold but weak in foundation.

He gave the Traveler three lifetimes' worth of fortune to find a beast that would use shrewd, sharp-witted tactics. Perhaps lull the other beasts into a false sense of security, before striking them down. Yes, this would be the way he proved his mettle, conquer the other kings, and maybe, just maybe, finally find himself worthy.

For his beast, the Traveler chose a Galarian Koloas Bear, a creature of beady eyes, sharp claws, and the roundest little ears you ever did see. How could a creature so adorable be deadly? But the creature’s cuteness was only matched by its ferocity. And any creature foolish enough to underestimate it met a grisly end.

In this way, the second beast was chosen.

-o-o-o-

“You’re one of the Masters.”

He looks just like all the other Masters did when I was training with them. Mysterious. Cold. Pompous. I can’t see his face under the hood, but I know he’s staring at me with disgust.

“Why have you come?” I ask.

“Silence.” He says, evenly.

He takes a deep breath. And then with a deep, booming voice, he bellows:

“YOU HAVE BROKEN THE LAWS OF THE ASARI COMPACT, BOBBY NEPTUNE, AND THERE IS RECOMPENSE TO BE PAID.”

“I never finished my training, I am not subject to your laws anymore!” I yell back.

“That was in a different universe, Mr. Neptune.”

He knows. How? It’s true that the Asari Masters in my universe made me leave when they found out I wanted to use their techniques for wrestling. You are taught not to use violence for personal gain. Such things are forbidden. They gave me a choice between them and wrestling. I chose wrestling.

“In this universe, the Asari take great umbrage with their techniques being used in such a despoiling manner.”

I actually feel tremendous guilt sometimes when I use what are supposed to be tools of peace to win fame and glory for myself. It’s why I try to do as much good as I can. It’s not because I’m a good man, just a guilty one.

“I watched with my own two eyes as you used the Ka-Tek technique to defeat Kenny Freeman, he continues. “And then you pranced about the ring like some parade ship, as if what you did was commendable. Sickening.”

He is right. I used the technique to defeat Kenny. But I swallow my guilt and bite back.

“I owe nothing to the Asari of this universe. You did not train me. I have leave from the High Master in my universe-”

“It does not matter. You are in our universe now, and you will abide by our laws.”

“So what then, you’re here to kill me?”

“That is up to you. I do not want that to come to pass. In fact, I hope this meeting ends with you coming with me.”

“Back to Titan?”

“Yes. I have a ship with a teleporter in orbit right now, ready to take us both back to Titan, where you will have your skin purged of its sacred marks, and you will begin again as an apprentice.”

I think back on those days as an apprentice. Punching my knuckles bloody against rocks. Finding balance on a bridge during a tempest. And the tests! The ambushes, the false exiles, the mind games. Many do not survive an apprenticeship. Even fewer graduate to become Adepts. Those were days I am not willing to relive.

“I am no apprentice.”

The old man stands and walks over to my bedside. His limp is gone, and he moves with the smooth grace of riverwater.

“You will obey,” he says.

“Or what?”

“I will send assassins to end you. And they shall kill you in the slowest manner possible. You will die, helpless, suffering, calling out to a god that will not answer. All because of your stubborn pride.”

“Send them! Let them find out who Bobby Neptune is.”

“Then that is your decision?”

“Yes.”

“Shame.”

I could’ve blocked his attack if not for the painkillers. But I was too slow. He hits three pressure points on my chest, and I feel every muscle in my body seize like an accordion. I can’t move. I can’t speak. I recognize the technique. It is one only the Masters know.

The old man reaches into his cloak and takes out a small laser-scalpel.

“The first thing I’m going to do is sever both of the tendons in your ankle, which should summarily end your career. I’m also going to take a hand. Which one, I haven’t decided yet.”

I try with all my might to move, but it’s useless.

Suddenly, I’m back on Terren Five, pinned under the ants’ drones.

I’m back in the asylum where they put me in a strait-jacket for days at a time.

I’m back in the parking lot, waking up from Ivan’s attack, alone. Helpless.

Maybe just give him what he wants, a voice in my head says.

What?

Give it up, Bobby. You’ll never have to feel helpless ever again.

“Mr. Neptune. I’m going to give one last chance. All you have to do is blink twice to let me know you will come with me. And I shall spare you.”

Come on, Bobby, live to fight another day. Do you really live to wrestle? Is it really worth your life?

I stare at him.

I don’t blink.

And I wait for the scalpel’s cut.

-o-o-o-

The Third King was the strongest of the three and full of the most hatred. His loathing and obsession with the other kings consumed him to the point of madness. His people starved. His fortresses lay in ruin. Yet he did not care so long as his enemies suffered.

“Bring me a creature that will destroy us all.” He told the Traveler. “I want a beast that will savage their cities and wreck their civilizations. Give me the beast which ends worlds.”

In this way, the third beast was decided.

-o-o-o-

And I keep waiting. Soon, I hear the buzz of the laser-scalpel stop.

It’s off, I think.

“Of the three kings,” the Master says. “Who became the first Emperor of Titan?”

I can’t move my lips. I can’t move anything.

“For it is written,” the old man continues. “That on the day of the contest, all three kingdoms and their citizens gathered in an arena the size of a crater. The First King brought his Viper. The Second King brought his Bear. What beast did the Third King bring?”

Feelings start to come back to my limbs. I make a half-baked lunge for him, but my body isn’t ready for that yet, and it just tumbles out of bed, taking my IV with it. Everything crashes to the ground, me included.  I look up for the first time I see under the hood of the Master. His face…his old, wrinkled, human face.

There were no human masters in my universe. It was supposed to be impossible.

“Don’t be obstinate. You passed the test.”

“I KNEW IT!” I yell. “I knew this was another Asari test! Do you realize what you just put me through?!? For what!?”

He stayed silent a moment as I struggled to get to my feet.

“What beast did the Third King bring?” he asks again.

My breathing is returning to normal. I try to control my anger, but it rages inside me. Who are these men who constantly think they can control me?!? What gives them the right?

“I’m not…in the mood…for stories,” I choke out.

“Indulge me.” He reaches out his hand to help me up. I grasp it. He helps me back into bed. I can recite this story from memory, and I’ve got the tattoo to prove it.

"The Traveler approached the Third King with no beast by his side," I recite like a dutiful student, biting back my rage with each word. “Where is the beast you promised me, he bellowed at the Traveler. ‘You said to bring the one that would end worlds. So here I am.'"

I look at the old man.

“Should I finish the story?” I say, still holding back the urge to rip off his stupid hood and sock him in the face.

“Later. For now, you deserve answers.”

The old man lowers his hood and looks down at me, not with pity, but with sorrow.

I take in the rest of his face, the strong jawline, still prominent under the wrinkles, framing a distant set of grey eyes, on top of which sits short, cropped hair of gray and blue.

“I’m sorry, Bobby.” He says. “But I had to know you weren’t a Chenar shapeshifter or some other imposter. I needed to know you were a Neptune.”

...Oh.

“Do you understand who I am, yet?” he asks, his tone now calmer, almost gentle.

“Yes,” I say, feeling like a fool. “What name do you go by?”

The man straightens up to his full height.

“My name is Robert Neptune, and you, Bobby, are in my universe.”

-o-o-o-

I always assumed I would be old before I saw myself old. It is nice to know that I keep my jawline. Despite the thinning hair and liver spots, I look pretty good for an old warrior.

“What happened to you?” I ask.

“That’s a rude question.”

“I mean, did you get hit with an aging ray or get stuck in a time loop?”

“No. In this universe, you were born decades earlier. There are versions of us that are even older. Some are yet to be born.”

“Have you met other Bobbys?”

“Oh yes. And you will too, one day.”

“Wait, does that mean there’s a council of Bobbys out there?”

“No, there is no council of Bobbys.”

“Why not?”

“We tend not to live long enough to form one long-term.”

“...oh.” I hate that that makes sense.

“I am an exception.” He says.

“You became an Asari Master?”

“Yes. When the Asari gave me a choice between them and wrestling, unlike you, I chose the Asari. I have been on Titan ever since, as a teacher.”

“So…that means you…”

“...Never pursued my Universal Championship, no. And Bobby, I regret my choice every day.”

The words hang in the air like heavy vapor. I suddenly find it difficult to be angry at him. Such tests are just a part of his ways.

But I can’t help but be haunted by what I just found out I am capable of.

“Are the Asari actually angry with me?” I ask after a moment of silence.

“Oh yes, I did not lie about that. When they find out I have deserted them, they will most likely send assassins. We will deal with them.”

“You’re deserting the Asari? For me?”

“Yes.” He says, gravely. “Since you’ve proven you have the willpower I didn’t have, I will train you. In the most blasphemous act of my life, I will hone your Asari training for use in a wrestling ring. I willingly give up my life to do this. Do you accept my sacrifice?”

I listen to the steady beep of my heart monitor. The bustle from outside the room. The man who was about to take everything from me is about to give up everything for me. I cannot refuse and yet...his eyes…so cold and…cruel. I have no doubt he would’ve slashed my tendons had I failed his test. I don't know what happened to make him so cold, but I pray it never happens to me.

“I do.”

Robert bows his head.

"Thank you."

He reactivates his holo-disguise. The robed man was now another retiree in the hospital, come to visit his grandson.

“We begin once those stitches are out.”

He moves to leave.

“Wait, why did you want me to recite the story of the last kings of Titan?”

“Meditate on it. It is your key to becoming what I could never become.”

“A wrestler?”

“A Star.”

-o-o-o-

The Traveler approached the Third King with no beast by his side. “Where is the beast you promised me?” he bellowed at the Traveler. “You said to bring the one that would end worlds. So here I am.” Then he snapped his fingers, and the beasts attacked. The Viper bit the First King, withering his beauty in a second before swallowing him whole. The Galarian Bear hugged the Second King until his bones were ground to dust, never to smile again. The Third King rose, sword in hand to strike down the Traveler, but stopped…And fell to the ground dead, poisoned by his own viziers.

Thus, the Traveler became the first Emperor of Titan. And all prospered under his rule, for he had traveled the universe and was wise beyond war.

Chandler.

Scott.

Ivan.

I truly walk amongst stars.

Each of you is a king in his own right. Champions. Legends. And like kings, you have made war with each other for years while I traversed the galaxy. You think this history makes you strong, but in fact, it only distracts you.

You think the kingdom you’ve built here makes you significant, but look at the ground below you. Chandler, you're an icon, but everyone knows your retirement is near. Your kingdom is beautiful, but crumbling. It’s time you ended things before it all turns to dust. 

Scott, you're at the top of your game now, and I bet that terrifies you. When we met, I got the sense you delight in the absurdity of life, but what happens when delight is not enough, and you must carry the weight of gold? Will you buckle? Without your tag partner by your side to keep you grounded, will you break?

Ivan, you style yourself as a leader, yet you couldn’t lead your own squad. You can’t even lead your own army, as it bleeds its ranks and acts against your wishes. You are a cruel, manipulative tyrant, and yet your authority is laughably weak. You are nothing but a pawn to your government, a slave to an obsolete ideology. There will be no redemption for you. You will die alone, likely by the hand of your own people. And what would all your strength have been for then?

I am no king. I am the weary traveler who has seen worlds upon worlds and drunk in their dangers and delights.

I am also the one who ends worlds.

You will see for yourselves.

After Revival 86, the world will be new.

After I triumph, all will look up and see a new star in the sky.

And I’ll smile back down. 

For I will no longer just be walking amongst stars.

I will be one.