It Was a Whale of a Diversion

July 23, 2025

Vince Howard: HERE IS YOOOOUR WINNERRRR FLAAAAAAAAAAMBEEEEEEERGE!!!!

With that I left the arena.

Should I have stayed to watch Joe?

My mind was playing tricks on me.

Should I have been happy?

I won my match.

To the joy of a wet fart.

Why can’t I just enjoy the moment?

Why can’t I be happy?

I did it, I avenged a loss.

Did I even care that I won?

What is it that I wanted from that?

Respect?

Cliché.

Revenge?

Too easy.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

But what about that conversation with Flamberge?

I smiled.

I laughed.

Internally…

…I felt like an outsider.

Again.

--

July 29th, 2025.

Part 1

The Orca

JD Lawson, the Orca of The Octopus, sat in his study at The Octopus compound. A remote control in his hand and his eyes glued to the TV in front of him. He shook his head and rewound what we was watching. This went on for a few minutes until he turned the TV off and tossed the remote to the couch behind him. He sighed and leaned back in his recliner and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept in a while and had kept to himself when he had returned to headquarters.

“What’s wrong?”

He turned to see his sister, The Marine Biologist in the doorway. He hadn’t even heard the door open which probably created that reaction from her. He made a motion to stand up, but she signaled for him to stay. She walked into the room and asserted her dominance as she lit a cigarette and blew the smoke wherever she desired.

Lawson waved his hand in the air to move the smoke from his face, “what’s wrong is that you don’t think something is wrong.”

She put her hand on her hip and as she titled her head the same way, “get your shit together.”

“You think what you are doing is justified?” The former KING of the FWF asked.

She turned her back on him and flicked ashes on the carpet in an obvious slight to her brother. “He will be here soon, I hope you keep your misguided fears to yourself.”

“Misguided?”

She turned back, her eyes squinting in anger accompanied by a menacing smile. “The family needs to do anything it can to protect itself. He is family, but he is green. We need to do anything we can to keep him moving in the right direction and not allow him to keep secrets. Do you trust your nephew?”

Lawson rubbed his bloodshot eyes, the lack of sleep had made them dry, and the smoke was not helping matters, “just make yourself scarce when he gets here and then maybe I can answer that question because trust goes both ways, Maude.”

She frowned at him using her real name. It was an exceedingly rare occurrence that anyone dared utter it in front of her. She turned again and walked towards the door and put the cigarette out on the door frame. “I TRUST you remember our directive at least.”

--

July 29th, 2025.

Part 2

The Immoral Jellyfish

I cannot stand these car rides to Octopus HQ.

I could not see anything, but my eyes were open. The car was completely darkened in the back seats. I just sat there in a state of confusion which was probably the point.

Try to confuse the visitor.

It is a time-tested move to throw someone off their game. The person would just be happy to see the light again.

The threat is gone.

The negotiation has already been titled.

I tried to close my eyes and think of anything but the incoming conversation with my mentor. As soon as I mentioned I needed to cross the border it came with a quid pro quo. To find my way back to see Rebecca I had to listen to someone berate my commitment once again to the family cause.

It was irritating.

Maybe he would congratulate me on advancing in The Almasy?

Hah.

Yea, the guy who won two huge tournaments in his day couldn’t care less about a quarterfinal’s appearance.

‘Tell me when you have won one.’

Can he explain the ringing in my ears?

The desperation I feel every night.

The punches that don’t stop.

The blood I cannot clean off.

The smirk I can’t shake.

The trust I cannot give.

The friends that left.

The allies I want.

The.

On.

The.

Back.

I…

Crave.

“This is fucking pathetic, heh.”

The whisper into the darkness went unheard but it echoed enough in my head that the grinding my teeth were making could shatter the window. I just wanted to get this over with.

I am not sure if you can sincerely divide your focus. I have a woman I love in a dangerous place, an Ellis to find, a lock box to open, an organization I must obey, and a Lizard Dullahan obsessed with other necks, so saddened by his internal hatred for his own.

I groaned and held my head in my hands as I fought against the darkness. It was beginning to make me dizzy but before I could pass out the car stopped.  The door opened and I was blinded by the sun.

--

July 29th, 2025.

Part 3

The Appetizer

“Sit down.”

“That is quite the greeting, grumpy as usual huh?”

That was the expected response. I had heard him lumbering down the hallway, which is something that often occurs when you spend time in that car. I had agreed to meet with him myself. I was not really interested in what my sister was plotting. More like, I wanted to pretend that I wasn’t aware of it. The Octopus is all she cared about but I had other responsibilities with Steve that I knew I could no longer ignore.

I was certain he had lost any trust he once had in me. It was my obligation to always be there for one of the rare wrestlers I have trained. It has, of course, become a tad cloudier with the realization that I was his uncle the entire time.

I picked the TV remote up and began the feed again. I didn’t look at him as I pointed at the screen, “this is sloppy.”

I heard a laugh behind me. I turned to see my former protégé: Steve Harrison shaking his head and chuckling at me.

“What are you laughing at?”

He slapped his right thigh and then shook his head and stopped laughing. “Sorry, sorry, this was not expected.”

I turned again and pointed at the TV, “you find it funny to still do the STF I taught you like some lazy teenager?”

“Yea...kind of.”

I paused the TV and once again turned to look at him eye to eye. “This isn’t a bait and switch, Steve. I am genuinely giving you wrestling advice because what I am seeing is going to continue to hold back what you could be.”

He leaned over in his chair seemingly invested in the conversation. I was surprisingly happy to see this. What was once my life I have barely been able to keep up because of family obligations. I guess I had missed it I thought to myself and had to contain a smile. “What do you want to know for me to receive this blessing of some advice,” he said sarcastically.

Ah yea, that was expected. “I get it. I asked you to visit Sandy and you were given the detective treatment from her. I cannot tell you I understand how you feel since this was all thrown at you almost eight months ago.”

He shrugged, “does it even matter? If SHE tells me, Sandy, Jack, Rico, or YOU to jump we have no other option than to say how high. I am not blind to the power structure but what I want right now isn’t close to the top of The Octopus priorities.”

I pointed back at the TV, “how about you prioritize becoming better than that.”

I watched as he squinted his eyes. I knew it wasn’t because he could not see, he was trying to think up an excuse or a defense for what I was showing him. “Why even talk about the STF when you are going to show me losing my damn Five Star Title to a driver?”

I rewound it again and paused, “you think having a basic understanding of submission moves might help you with grappling out of that. You thought you had him and then he countered so quickly that you just went along for the ride. Looks like a painful ride.”

“Again, JD, why should I care about any of this? You have barely spoken ten words to me in over fifteen years until today. Forgive me for thinking I should believe anything that comes out of your mouth.”

He looked increasingly smug after that comment to me. He wasn’t wrong, I had hoped I would never have to talk to him like this again. Not because he is a disappointment but because I never wanted him to be dragged into this curse our family can never escape from. Unfortunately, I still had not learned how to articulate that to him so instead I pointed to the floor. “Well today you WILL and in five minutes I want you doing squats and getting ready to be stretched by Jack,” I couldn’t help but smile at the end of that.

That got him…mad?

He stood up and pointed his finger at me and then the floor, “fuck that, old man. If I am doing this, I am going to beat YOU. We can do this in jeans, boss. I don’t care but I don’t want to hear any excuses from you.”

Then he had the courtesy to name some:

“I didn’t stretch enough.”

“My bad ‘insert body part’ was acting up.”

“I’m tired.”

“I’m sick.”

“I’m old.”

I grinned and cracked my neck.

‘That was the correct answer, Steve,’ I thought to myself.

You are going to learn that an Immortal Jellyfish is just a mere snack for a Killer Whale.

--

July 29th, 2025.

Part 4

I breathed heavy.

WHAT.

THE.

ACTUAL.

FUCK.

I sat up with sweat dripping from every pore of my body. I looked up to see JD Lawson looking down on me. That ridiculous grin had not left his face since I challenged him. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. This had not gone the way I had expected.

“Pfft, if we were actually fighting this would have been different.”

To be honest I wasn’t sure about that. He had pretty much just run circles around me with submission and grappling moves for the past thirty minutes. The fact he stood up before me was vexing to say the least. Everything I was wearing was sweaty, but he just stood there drinking water that he tediously prepared for himself before we started.

Too much chill with this guy right now.

“I’m sure.”

I stood up and plopped myself back on the couch. He gave me some water, and I sat in silence for a little bit as I caught my breath and let the AC cool me down. I was stuck in that moment on how to respond to my old mentor because he had surely shut up my complaints right now.

So, irritating.

He saw my hesitation and continued, “My goal wasn’t to embarrass you, Steve, but it sure looks I did,” he laughed and gave me a half shrug.

I groaned quietly as I let that truth sink into my psyche. Christ…that damn thing could shattered at any point these days. “I admit it, I have been slacking on my training.” The fact of the matter was that I barely trained these days because of The Octopus.

The KING of the Sea winked at me and then turned back to the TV. “That was just our warmup because I need you to help explain something to me.”

The screen was now showing a full picture of the Glue Ultraviolence Night One Poster. No crumbs in sight, just a lot of Gold. “Not my favorite night,” I mused as once again I am reminded of losing the Five Star Championship. I feel like that’s a daily occurrence with these scabs I call family.

He shook his head at me, “Lucky for you then, I am talking about the four sets of empty eyes staring back at us.”

“Ok?” That comment got me a little more rattled than I had expected. I sat up on the couch and looked at the picture and then back at Lawson.

“Guess they didn’t have room to put the Five Star Champion on that poster. Maybe I am remembering wrong but who took all Jiles momentum away before he faced Cecilworth for the Universal Title?”

I smiled. Any mention of Jiles being humiliated is always fun. “I mean, everyone knows the answer to that.” I internally gave myself tons of pats on my own back. “What exactly are you trying to start here?”

He crossed his arms across his chest and sighed.

“Bobby Dean.”

“The (redacted) Alliance.”

“Clay Byrd.”

“Don Winters.”

“You see where I am going with this, nephew?”

I did.

It isn’t like I don’t think about this all the time either.

I nodded back at him, “want me to start names too? How about Fly-T? How about Ranma Saotome? How about Jade Diamond? I can go on and on here.”

He rolled his shoulders and lifted them. I heard a pop, and a smile came back on his face as if that had relieved him of everything I said. “I never came out of any of those worse off though. People disappear from your life all the time. What I am getting at is that YOU seem to continually trust the wrong people.”

I rolled my eyes. I wouldn’t consider myself someone who trusts easily. That might be because of everyone he listed but I have always seemed to keep people at enough distance to protect myself. “I have never trusted any of those people. What I expect and haven’t gotten in return is respect. So, I ask you again…what’s your point? You think the big bad glue daddies are going to send me to the horse retirement in the sky?”

He turned the TV off. He looked at me with his arms still crossed and he laughed. Afterwards he nodded, “if anything, at least you inherited your sarcasm from me. Maybe you don’t need advice,” he paused. “Do realize though, that regardless of what you are to them, and they are to you there is no friendly violent competition.”

Welp.

He was just quoting me there.

Before I could reply though he decided to get to the heart of the manner. “I get it, Steve,” he sighed. “I understand that being lonely is its own sort of death to the soul.”

What the hell is this?

JD Lawson is now a therapist instead of his wife it would seem. He looked more uncomfortable saying that then I did hearing to it though. I gritted my teeth and cringed because that was the last thing I wanted to talk to HIM about.

So, I puffed up my chest and lied through my teeth, “I know where I stand and no matter of what loneliness,” I paused and looked at him. “YOU think I have I am not ever going to lay down for another wrestler.”

Well, the latter part wasn’t a lie.

He stood up and brushed his shirt down. He held his hand out and helped my tired body stand up. “Looks you understand the point, Steve. Let’s get some food and then get you across the border.”

I finally smiled.

A real smile.

Was I pleased to finally go see Rebecca or was having this conversation with Lawson something that I had wanted?

Was he forcing his smile though?

--

Dear Julian

Stupid, we are not that close, and I am not his mom.

Dear Flamberge

That sounds like I am writing to a gentleman lizard scholar.

Dear Flambo,

How is the hot rock you are resting on?

You normally don’t see lizards resting by themselves.

I get it though. I would prefer my Octopus family to give me a bit of space as well.

It doesn’t mean we are bad people.

It doesn’t mean we push people away on purpose.

It doesn’t mean we don’t want to be more inclusive.

C'est la vie.

It means life has left us without any other options but to be on the defensive.

Sincerity becomes sarcasm for us.

A handshake is not about respect. It is about dictating terms in hand strength.

Maybe that’s just me though.

Maybe we aren’t that much alike.

I would like to think we have a measure of relatability though.

I must accept that I am on the outside looking in. I have been dipping my toe in and would enjoy taking a seat and enjoying the amusement park ride where the seats are sticky. That isn’t my choice though and by saying ‘good luck’ your lizard brain went into protection mode.

I was being genuine.

So were you though, right?

Your threat came through loud and clear.

It was dripping with bloodlust, and I believe I saw you flick your tongue as you attempted to smell the air for a meal.

I think you are looking for a meal in the wrong place, friend.

Ami.

I’m a little salty after consuming so many eGG Bandits.

You’re welcome.

I am not here to propel you into the Semi Finals. There are far worse ways to gain one’s respect than beating it into them. In my case…maybe I strangle you with a tentacle. You earned it by looking at me like I was a meal you could disrespect.

Play with your food to your own detriment.

I have come to expect wrestlers in PRIME to overlook me. I hope you have the knowledge to realize that isn’t a winning strategy.

It’s annoying though.

Having others brush off my accomplishments as luck.

Where the hell is your luck then?

Your luck is in not having YOUR neck took.

I got a little angry there.

The truth is, I don’t want to hurt you, Flambo.

Unfortunately for you this tournament means more to me than any relationship in this knife in your back industry.

Independent contractors.

Independent individuals.

Out of pocket expenses.

I twist the knife.

I leave you needing a blood transfusion.

You fall in front of the vultures and by the looks of them you have many that enjoy circling you.

They will pick you clean to your bones while defending their actions as righteous.

I will take THEIR necks.

I will pick you up, Flambo. I will let you see my hand being raised while I give you a wink. I will make sure you get the care you need.

Be happy you can still move.

After that I don’t want to ever see you jump to conclusion and into my face ever again. I am not afraid of you. I am not your young boy. I will prove that I am your equal and then some. I will prove that you Glue boys are lucky that I enjoy your presence. The reality is that if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be coming into this match with your face intact.

A finely scared face can make me hot and bothered.

To see more.

Not enough Kentucky Bourbon will ease your pain, but at least you will still be allowed to consider The Miracle Man a trustworthy ally.

Heh.

Heh.

Let’s leave it all on the mat…

I will leave you enlightened…

...C'est un harcèlement

--

July 31st, 2025

Montreal

“What happened to the woman who was in a coma?”

“Her family came yesterday and moved her to hospital closer to them so they could visit every day.”

--

Elsewhere.

“Clarice, please make our new guest as comfortable as possible. I am uncertain how long she will be sleeping beauty.”

“Yes madam.”

“After all, she is going to be family someday.”

“Of course. I will make sure she is cleaned, and all her belongings are…inventoried.”

“I knew I could count on you. Let me know if you find anything.”

--

Montreal II

“FUCK!”

“Language, sir.”

“Get out of my way. Dammit, DAMMIT!”

“Are you ok? Take a deep breath.”

Thud