Not the Same Boy I Used to Be

“So cool, she was like jazz on a Summer’s day.” - Steve Winwood ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The air hummed with excitement as Scott entered the carnival, the vibrant lights flickering like stars in the sky. He could taste the sweetness of cotton candy mingling with the buttery aroma of popcorn as he wandered deeper into the thrumming heart of the fair. Rides whirled and whooshed, laughter intertwined with the occasional scream, creating a symphony of joy and thrill that wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He was supposed to meet a friend so they could hang out and ride the rides - the carnival was only here during fair season after all - but his friend no-showed. Turns out fifteen-year-old boys can be flaky. Who knew? Anyway, Emma had gotten him ride tickets ahead of time, a gift for all of the hard work he had been putting into his training. Scott figured it’d be a shame to see ‘em go to waste, so he decided to fly solo. He meandered toward the towering structure of the roller coaster, its metal tracks glinting under the kaleidoscope of neon lights. The line snaked ahead, a living entity of anticipation. Scott shifted his weight, his heart racing at the thought of the ride. “Hey, are you in line for this?” a voice chirped beside him. Scott turned to see a girl with long, auburn hair cascading down her shoulders like a waterfall. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief and excitement, and a bright smile danced on her lips. “Yeah, I am,” he managed, trying not to stare too hard. “I’m Scott.” “Valerie,” she said, extending her hand. “You need someone to ride with?” As he shook it, he felt a jolt of energy, something electric in the air around them. For a moment, Scott was confused. He looked up at the lights, as if they had anything to do with this sudden sensation. Thousands of bulbs, and all smarter than Scott. “Uh, sure. Nice to meet you,” he replied, not knowing quite what to do with his hands now that they had separated. The line moved quickly, and before he knew it, they were climbing into the cramped car, the safety bar clicking into place. The anticipation swelled within him, and he glanced sideways at Valerie, who looked equally thrilled. “You ready?” she asked, her laughter bubbling up from within her. “Absolutely!” The ride lurched forward, and Scott felt the rush of adrenaline as they climbed. He held his breath as they reached the peak, the world below shrinking into a blur of color. “Here we go!” Valerie shouted just before they plunged down. Her voice was swallowed by the wind rushing past. Scott couldn’t help but laugh, the sound mingling with her joyful screams. “Whoooo!!!” he yelled as they soared, the thrill sending his heart racing in time with the roller coaster’s twists and turns. When they finally came to a halt, both of them breathless and exhilarated, Scott turned to Valerie, his cheeks flushed from the ride and the cool night air. “That was great!” he exclaimed, his blue eyes wide. “Right? I felt like I was flying!” she said, her laughter ringing like music to his ears. They hopped off the ride together, still buzzing from the adrenaline rush. Scott glanced at Valerie, who was brushing her hair back, her smile radiant against the backdrop of carnival lights. “So, what else do you like to do?” she asked, her curiosity evident. “I’m training to be a wrestler,” he said, puffing out his chest a bit, pride swelling within him. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s my dream.” “Not crazy at all! That’s awesome! You’re like a real-life superhero,” she said with awe. “I mean, you must be strong to do all those moves.” “Yeah, but I’m still getting there. I’ve only been training for a few months, and I’m still just fifteen years old, so…” Scott admitted, his confidence slightly wavering. Valerie shrugged, her expression serious for a moment. “I think that’s cool. It takes guts to chase your dreams like that.” “Thanks,” he said, feeling a warmth spread through him. “What about you? What do you want to do?” “Oh, I’m not sure yet. I love drawing, though. Maybe something in art?” she mused, her gaze drifting off as if envisioning a canvas filled with color. “Wow, that’s amazing. You know, I can’t even draw a stick figure,” he laughed, scratching the back of his head. “Well, we can’t all be wrestlers,” she teased, nudging his shoulder playfully. They shared laughter, their connection deepening with each moment, and Scott felt lighter, as if the burdens of his training slipped away. “Want to check out the Ferris wheel next?” Valerie suggested, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Sure! Let’s do it!” They walked side by side, the night alive around them. Scott glanced at her, taking in the way her auburn hair bounced with each step, the way her laughter seemed to dance through the air. As they approached the Ferris wheel, the lights twinkled against the dark backdrop of the sky. They joined the line, and Scott felt a flutter in his stomach, but not from the anticipation of the ride. He suddenly realized he was staring. “Have you ever been on this before?” she asked, looking up at the towering structure. He blinked, shaking himself back to Earth. “Once, when I was younger. I remember it being super high up,” he replied, his heartbeat quickening at the thought of being up there with her. “Don’t worry! I’ll protect you if you’re scared,” she teased, winking at him. “Scared? Me?” he chuckled, trying to sound confident. The line moved again, and soon they found themselves in a private gondola. As they settled in, Scott couldn’t help but notice how close they were sitting. “Here we go!” Valerie said, her voice full of excitement, as the wheel began to turn. With each ascent, the carnival unfolded below them in a dazzling display of color and life. Scott stole a glance at Valerie, her face illuminated by the lights, and he felt a rush of warmth. “This view is amazing!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms up as they reached the peak. “Yeah, it is!” Scott agreed, feeling a surge of happiness. “Look! It’s like we’re on top of the world!” she shouted, and he couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. “Totally! It’s like we’re both superheroes!” he joked. They shared a moment of comfortable silence, the world below fading as they both soaked in the beauty of it all. Then, Valerie turned to him, her expression serious for a heartbeat. “Scott, I’m really glad we met tonight,” she said, her voice softer. “Me too,” he replied, his heart fluttering. The gondola swayed slightly, and he found himself leaning a little closer to her, drawn in by her warmth. “Promise me something,” she said suddenly, her eyes gleaming. “No matter what happens, we’ll keep in touch after tonight. I have a feeling we’re gonna be good friends.” “Definitely!” he agreed eagerly. As they reached the ground, the gondola swaying to a stop, Valerie took out her phone and quickly typed her number. “Here, text me so I have yours too,” she said, handing him her phone. Scott typed his number, his heart pounding as he realized how much he didn’t want this night to end. “Got it!” she said, glancing at her screen. “Now you can text me about your superhero adventures.” “Or you can help me with my wrestling moves,” he added, trying to sound casual but feeling a rush of hope. “Deal!” They stepped off the ride, the carnival once again buzzing around them, and Scott smiled. He couldn’t remember feeling this way before. “Where to next?” he asked, scanning the fair for their next adventure. “Follow me,” she smiled devilishly, and dashed off. He chased after her, his blood pumping with excitement. As the night wore on, they tried game booths, won silly prizes, and even rode on the carousel, the horses rising and falling in a gentle rhythm. The carnival lights painted their faces in hues of pink and blue, and Scott felt like they were in their own little world, untouched by anything outside. “Look, I got you a prize!” Valerie said, holding out a squishy purple octopus. “For me? You shouldn’t have!” he replied, accepting it with mock seriousness. “It’s a reminder of our epic night!” She laughed, poking it. “I will cherish him forever,” he announced, bowing and holding it proudly. She giggled, her eyes sparkling. As the clock edged closer to midnight, Scott knew Emma would be back to pick him up soon. The thought of leaving made his heart sink, but he pushed it aside, wanting to savor every moment. “Let’s grab one last ride before we go,” he suggested, trying to keep the mood light. “What do you have in mind?” Valerie asked, her expression curious. “How about the bumper cars?” “Bumper cars it is!” They rushed over, and as Scott climbed into his car, he felt a rush of glee. The moment the ride started, he charged toward Valerie, a determined gleam in his eye. “Here I come!” he yelled, slamming into her car with a satisfying thud. “Not so fast!” she shot back, retaliating with her own bump. Laughter erupted between them as they careened around the track, bumping and dodging, the world around them fading into the background. “Okay, truce!” Valerie shouted, raising her hands in surrender as they collided once more. “Truce! For now,” Scott laughed, grinning widely. The ride came to an end, and they stepped out. “Wow, what a night,” Valerie said. “Yeah, it really was,” Scott replied, his heart racing at the thought of saying goodbye. They wandered slowly toward the carnival exit, the joyous atmosphere still buzzing around them. “I guess this is it,” he said, trying to mask the disappointment in his voice. “Yeah, but we’ll keep in touch, right?” Valerie said, her eyes earnest. “Absolutely! I’ll text you!” Valerie reached into her pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, scribbling something down. “Here’s my number again, just in case.” He took it, their fingers brushed briefly, sending another jolt of electricity through him. She raised up on her tip-toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Goodnight, Scott.” “Goodnight, Valerie.” With a wave, she turned and walked away, her figure growing smaller as she blended back into the throng of carnival-goers. Scott stood there, clutching the piece of paper, his heart soaring. He looked down at the number and at her name, scribbled with a small heart dotting the ‘I’ in her name. He turned and walked toward the parking lot, and saw his sister Emma turn the corner toward him, kicking up dust and gravel as she rumbled toward him in their dad’s truck. She stopped next to him, and he threw the door open and climbed inside. “Hey there, baby brother. You have fun?” “Yeah,” he said, looking through the window toward the carnival. “Sorry you had to go alone.” “I’m not…” Emma pulled out of the parking lot, and he looked back smiling, the memory of every laugh, spin, and bump echoing through his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “A woman or man of value doesn’t love you because of what he or she wants you to be or do for them. He or she loves you because your combined souls understand one another, complement each other, and make sense above any other person in this world.” - Shannon L. Alder ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t get it.” Kerry Kuroyama walked back and forth, sweat still dripping from his forehead after his match with Max Kael. The show was over, but they were waiting back for the crowd to dissipate so they could leave in peace. There had strangely been more and more fans at the exit when they left shows lately. “He just walked out.” “Doesn’t matter.” Scott didn’t look up from his post-show snack, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Kerry stopped in place. “Doesn’t matter?” he asked incredulously. “Doesn’t matter,” Scott said again. Kerry looked at him for a beat or two, then shook his head. “I guess, but I’d still like to know what the hell that was.” Scott wiped peanut butter from the edge of his mouth with the back of his hand. “Max is weird. Who can understand that weirdo anyway? Didn’t he use to hang out with Ivan? And didn’t he used to be dead? And doesn’t he eat lots and lots of kale? I wonder if his poop is dark green.” “He doesn’t… his last name is…” Kerry started to protest. “Never mind. You’re right. I guess I should just take the win and be happy about it.” Scott went back to his sandwich and nodded his head. “Yes. Yes, you should.” “Alright, let’s just move on.” Scott nodded again. “Yes.” “Speaking of moving on,” Kerry replied with a raised eyebrow. “Looks like you’re facing Rose on the next show.” Scott shook his head. He still held his sandwich, the juxtaposition in tone striking. “I don’t know that much about her. She seems like a good person, like she has a good heart and probably wouldn’t pull any dirty tricks during our match, but as a very talented musician once sang, every her has its thorn, so I must be careful.” Kerry nearly spat his water out, but Scott wasn’t done. “You also said she was once the leader of some Short Kings, which tells me…” “No, no, no,” Kerry interrupted. “I said she was the leader of a short-lived group called ‘KING,’ not the leader of short kings.” So she wasn’t the leader of some short, overly confident gentlemen who presumably wore those Conzuri sneakers with lifts inside that I see ads for on social media?” Kerry shook his head, deadpan. “No. She is the daughter of a very well-known wrestler named ‘Dusk’, and she’s in the Red Army. That’s all you need to worry about.” “Oh,” Scott said as he frowned. “I’m a little disappointed her dad named her Rose instead of Dawn, because I think I could come up with at least five really good ‘From Dusk to Dawn’ jokes, and now I cannot use them. Maybe if she were a secret Mexican desert vampire, I could still figure out a way to make it work, but despite her oddly cold skin, she probably isn’t actually undead.” “You ready to go another round with the Red Army?” Kerry’s tone shifted, a deeper seriousness that made Scott nervous. Scott put the sandwich down. “Ready? I mean, how do you get ready for people who basically want to kill you? Thank God you guys showed up to help, or they might have finished the job.” Kerry shrugged. “Sure looked to me like you were the one about to finish the job.” “That’s nice of you to say,” he said, not entirely buying it. “You’re no slouch, Scott.” Kerry’s eyes narrowed, his expression serious, as he stepped closer. “I’ve never seen anyone train with the intensity I’ve seen you train these last few months. I’m a believer for damn sure. Don’t let them intimidate you.” “Intimidate?” Scott scoffed, though his heart raced at the thought. “It’s more about surviving. Rose is tough in her own right, and she’s got the Red Army backing her. Plus, they’ve got this pact with the Whoresmen… who knows who could come running down to the ring?” Kerry clapped a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Which is why you need to be smarter. Use your head, Scott. Keep your head on a swivel, but be smart. And don’t forget, if you need me, I’ll be right there.” “I just don’t want to…” “What? Disappoint me?” Kerry interrupted. “I think we’re beyond the point of you disappointing anybody, Scott. Everybody’s eyes are open where you’re concerned, buddy.” Scott forced a smile. “Hey, let’s lighten the mood,” Kerry said, suddenly brightening. “It’s like you said, doesn’t matter how it happened, I got the win tonight. I saw a diner down the street. Ditch the PB&J, and let’s get outta here, get some burgers, fries, have our cheat day…” “And milkshakes!!” Scott interjected, his eyes sparkling like a kid’s. “Yes! Exactly!” Kerry grinned, his eyes lit up with mischief. “I’m hungry, you’re hungry, Kerry Koalayama’s hungry…” “I wonder if they have a eucalyptus burger,” Scott mused. “Ah, yes,” Kerry rolled his eyes. “Nothing says Montreal like eucalyptus burgers.” “Right you are,” Scott pointed right back at his friend. “That’s probably a special order.” Kerry chuckled and grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat from his brow. Just then, Scott’s phone buzzed in his pocket, interrupting their banter. He fished it out and noted the name flashing across the screen - Val. A jolt of surprise shot through him, and the laughter faded as he stared at the text notification. “What’s up?” Kerry asked, noticing the sudden change in Scott’s demeanor. “It’s Val.” Scott’s voice dropped, barely above a whisper. Kerry raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. “Val? Who the heck is Val?” “Val is um… well, she’s an old friend.” The name rolled off his tongue like a bittersweet memory, laced with nostalgia. Kerry was somewhat taken aback by the sudden change in mood. He’d never seen Scott this way. It was almost unsettling. “What does she want?” Kerry urged. Scott hesitated, his thumb hovering over the screen. Memories flooded his mind - her laughter, late nights talking on the phone until dawn, hanging up only because the other fell asleep, then answering when they woke up and asked why the other had hung up. Her eyes sparkling with pride when he got the call and was offered his first professional contract. Promising to keep in touch… but losing track of the days, months, and years. “Scott! Come on! What the hell, man?” With a deep breath, Scott opened the message. “Hey, Scott. It’s been a while. Got your number from your sister. I heard about how well you’ve been doing. Can we talk?” The words struck him like a punch, leaving him breathless. Kerry peered over Scott’s shoulder, curiosity etched on his face. “What does she want?” “I don’t know. But it’s… complicated.” “Complicated?” Kerry echoed, leaning back against the locker, arms crossed. “What is she, an old girlfriend or something?” “You could say that.” Scott’s heart raced, memories swirling like a whirlwind. They had shared so much, dreams, laughter - so much time spent, hoping it would never end, until it did. “Things ended badly,” he admitted, the weight of the past settling heavily on his chest. “I never got closure. I don’t know if I’m ready to face that.” “Well,” Kerry shrugged. “This could be your chance.” “I don’t know if I want a chance.” Scott’s voice was low, uncertainty gnawing at him. Kerry shook his head, determination etched on his face. “You won’t know unless you try. You owe it to yourself to find out. Besides, what’s life without a little risk?” Scott stared at the screen, his pulse quickening. The thought of opening that door again terrified him. He nodded slowly, the weight of Kerry’s words sinking in. Scott glanced back down at the message, his fingers trembling slightly as he began to type. “Let’s go grab those burgers,” he said suddenly, shaking off the tension. “I don’t have time for this. I have to think about what I’m gonna do against Rose. I have to take this seriously. Do you think Rose or Ivan or Alexei or anyone else gives a crap about any of this? I can’t let this get to me, not now. Val is the one who broke it off, not me. I don’t have time for the past right now. I’m too busy in the present.” Kerry accepted the answer and stood up. “Your call, bud. I get it. I have to say, I’ve never seen you this way.” “What way?” Scott said, pushing up from the bench. “Introspective.” Scott’s face scrunched up. “Introspective?? What does that even mean??? You can’t just make up words. I know we’re in Canada, but at least learn to speak proper Canadian. Don’t just make things up.” Kerry nodded. “There you are.” Kerry clapped him on the back again and led him toward the door. “About the milkshakes…” Scott interjected. “What about the milkshakes, Scott?” “I want chocolate. No vanilla! Vanilla is boring. It’s the Ivan Stanbekistanisilavlucy of milkshakes.” Kerry chuckled. “You can have chocolate, Scott.” “Hang on.” Scott broke free and turned back to the bench where he had almost forgotten his phone. The screen was still open to the text. He stared at it for a moment, then swiped up. An alert popped up that said, “MESSAGE SAVED.” “Okay, let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Music, high and sweet, then she just blew away. Now she can’t be that warm with the wind in her arms.” - Steve Winwood ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~