This Is Stupid

The gold door. That's what she had heard. Gold door, gold door, gold door. For answers, gold door. But there was another door there. The pale door with the banana decal. It had been pretty much ignored. Even Lockhart didn't have much to say about it, treating it quite dismissively. RIA needed a break. The gold door wasn't going anywhere. She grabbed the banana shaped door handle (what the hell was up with all the bananas?!) and pushed it down.

Upon walking into the room, a number of things caught her eye. For one, the ceiling and floor were both brown, potentially made of the same wood. The walls were yellow. Not quite blinding yellow, but still a pretty damn bright yellow. The room was also totally empty. Except for one thing. Standing in the middle of the room was Ria Lockhart. Wearing a banana suit. RIA tilted her head, her baffled gaze on Lockhart.

“Lockhart?!” The Psychoberry blurted out. “When the hell did ya get in here?! Why are ya in here?!”

“Banana.” Came the response. RIA's eyes narrowed while she clenched her jaw.

“Look, it wasn't funny when Anubis did it and it ain't funny when ya do, even if ya are appropriately dressed.” She snarked. Lockhart(?) let out a frustrated sigh before holding her hand up.

“Banana.” She instructed before holding her hands out in front of her. A puff of smoke goes off over her head, dropping an Etch A Sketch into her hands. The Lockhart lookalike’s fingers nibbly worked the dials of the toy. Once satisfied, she flipped the device around in such a dexterous manner that that was displayed didn't get erased. RIA bent slightly guard to check it out.

“I am not Lockhart. My name is Rianana. It's nice to meet you.” The Psychoberry read aloud. She straightened back up, still glaring at her host. “Bullshit!”

RIA stormed out of the room, slamming the door in the process. She stomped over to Lockhart’s domain, entering without the courtesy of knocking. The alpha personality was lounging on her bed, watching TV. The Rainbow Riot’s jaw dropped.

“Yeah, I know. She looks like me.” Lockhart plainly stated before RIA could speak.

“Yeah, kinda.” The pink and blue clad personality managed to find words. “The banana suit, though? I don't get it.”

That caused the Steel Hart to sit up and look over at RIA.

“Wait… You opened the banana door?!” She exclaimed, incredulous. “I thought you were gonna open the gold door?!”

“I'm gettin’ there!” RIA said defensively. “Yinz were makin' such a big deal bout it and I've been stressed with all the shit goin’ on, I decided to wait!”

Silence gripped the room for a few moments. Finally, Lockhart spoke up.

“You may as well get to know her better.” She calmly said. “Rianana’s harmless.”

“Uh huh.” RIA murmured before seeing herself out. Back to the banana room. The Psychoberry stood in front of Rianana, arms crossed on her chest.

“So what's your story?” She asked unenthusiastically. The banana suit clad woman's hands go back to the knobs. After a minute, a message is displayed.

“Ria Lockhart often found herself considered too serious. A woman who could not take a joke. So I was created back in May of 2021 to show she could, in fact, partake in shenanigans. But as it turned out, she does have a genuinely relaxed sense of humor, leaning more towards sarcasm. I, however, am a manifestation of absurdity.”

RIA raised an eyebrow after reading out the words.

“So real talk? I'm kinda impressed ya got all that to fit on there legibly.” She remarked. “But dang, that's quite the story. You seem pretty damn serious, though.”

“I am. I suppose the irony of being blunt and straightforward while being confined to a rubber banana suit could be considered humorous or off-kilter. It should also be recognized that my vocabulary is painfully limited, consisting of only one word.”

RIA nodded thoughtfully before a goofy smile crossed her face. “What word is it?”

It was now Rianana’s turn to glare at the Psychoberry. Back to the Etch A Sketch. After a few moments, it was turned around to reveal… a well detailed fist, middle finger raised. For her part, RIA couldn't suppress a giggle from escaping her throat. The noise caused the tiniest of smiles to make its way across Rianana's face.

“So you're not all violent and angry like the Nightshades?” RIA inquired, to which the banana woman gently shook her head. “Well that's good. Must suck that no one can understand ya when ya speak.”

“Lockhart and the original Nightshade can understand my speech. Unfortunately, that puts them in the minority.”

The memo caught RIA off-guard. The more she learned about this shard, the more layers she found. However, unlike Blackshade or whoever might be behind the golden door, this Rianana appeared to be gentle, positive. It then occurred to the Psychoberry that she had never properly introduced herself. She held out her hand.

“I'm RIA, by the way; byproduct of an overdose scrambling our brains! I like to have fun doin’ whatever the hell I feel like, my girlfriend is super hot and lotsa fun and I'm kinda unofficially running things right now, even though Lockhart is still kinda in charge.”

Rianana nodded and smiled softly before shaking hands with RIA.

“Banana!”