The Jack Manifesto

I was awoken by the beeping of an Alarm Clock.

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

I sat up like a Vampire when the sun goes down. Unfortunately, even though I feel like a vampire trying to survive the sun I was in fact just a human in a hotel room in Barcelona.

Selfish Vampires, always biting an IG Model.

On the nightstand was an envelope. Internally I hoped for it to be full of Snow Globe ingredients but that would mean I was no longer grounded from having a good time.

I picked it up and tore it open like a fiend needing a fix.

Jack Marley has left a note, how grand…I cannot wait to read.

Ugh, IT COULD GET WORSE!

• Don’t try leaving the hotel. The staff knows, so don’t try it.
• You will not drink for two weeks. The staff know, so don’t try it.
• You will only eat healthy. I have given the Hotel a menu for you.
• You will use the Hotel Fitness Room twice a day, first for cardio, second for weights.
• We will talk over dinner every night about our feelings. More importantly you will TALK.
• Scout your opponent, watch film, and come up with a gameplan.
• Yes, you are more then grounded until we get you back on track.
• Plan what to do with Montreal.
• Think up new Merch ideas.
• Give Don Winters the Donkey Puppet back.

• Answer the door.

“What the hell?”

KNOCK KNOCK.

I rolled off the bed and slowly walked to the door. I opened it and standing there with a food cart was Jack Marley. Without saying a word, he rolled the cart in and smiled at me. I rubbed the sleep from of my eyes.

“I could eat.”

Jack nodded and took the lid off the food, “we have an egg white omelet.”

“Ugh.”

He ignored me, “turkey sausage.”

“UGH.”

He paused to give me an annoyed look, “and orange juice…”

“Ok.”

“With pulp.”

“UGH.”

“With a cup of coffee.”

“No Latte?”

“No.”

“Sugar and cream in the coffee?”

“No.”

“UGH.”

Jack continued to ignore my annoyance and handed me the coffee WITH NOTHING IN IT, “Ah, I am happy you saw the note. So, whenever you are done here do some stretches and meet me downstairs at the Fitness Center.”

He walked to the door and opened to leave and then turned back to me, “and Steve---no Conor Fuse shirts either.”

Before I could respond, he had closed the door. I put the cup of coffee to my mouth and took a sip and then stared back down at it with disgust in my face, “gross.”

I took another sip.

‘Dammit!”

I angrily began eating the breakfast and sighed between bites of the unsalted egg white omelet that only had freaking mushrooms and peppers inside of it, “what the hell is happening?”

I finished the coffee.

Don’t ask me why.